Healthy life a near-death experience
THIS was the year I was going to finally complete a new year’s resolution — 2017, the year I become the pinnacle of fitness. Original, I know. A worthy goal nonetheless.
Progress update: It’s 6pm on a frosty winter’s evening in August and, even though my runners and active wear have been sitting neatly folded at the bedroom door since the night before, I cannot seem to will my body to leave the place on the bed where it had planted itself since arriving home.
I follow a very strict fitness plan during the weekdays.
“You’re going to the gym tonight,” I had told myself as I ran out the door at 8 o’clock that morning.
This is step one, training the mind to listen to reinforcement. “You’re going. This time you’re going,” I chanted in my head over my lunchtime salad. Keep that repetition up. “You’re a mess,” I tell myself while face-planting into a sea of cushions at 5.30pm.
I am not going anywhere. This is a very common step three. All those hours looking at motivational Instagram posts and green-coloured foods never stood a chance against an appealing mass of Kmart bedding after eight hours in an office sitting at a desk. I cannot help but idolise those who have the motivation to work five days a week and still find time to exercise regularly. The few times a week I manage by some miracle to will myself onto a treadmill I am very often put to shame by the professionals around me who look like they run marathons in their free time. I’m here, though. That’s what matters. Five minutes in and my face is a very unhealthy shade of sweaty red.
Ten minutes later, I am wondering why those around me don’t look like they are experiencing a slow death, because I am absolutely about to die.
An hour later, I stumble out on to the street and try to make it up the hill where my car is parked, wondering why I plan to torture myself a couple of times a week.
That's the thing with living a healthy lifestyle — there isn’t any quick and easy way to achieve it.
You’ve got to put in the work for it.
Which I will try to continue to do — at least until someone discovers a real shortcut.
Do your thing, science!