Monarchy? I say the joke’s on us
“HER Majesty’s a pretty nice girl. But she doesn’t have a lot to say. Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl. But she changes from day to day. I like to say that I love her a lot But I gotta get a bellyful of wine Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl Some day I’m going to make her mine, oh yeah Some day I’m going to make her mine.”
I LOVE the old Beatles song Her Majesty, sung by Paul McCartney. It’s cheeky and it’s funny and I reckon even today, almost 50 years since it came out, it actually makes a pretty solid point.
Yeah, she’s pretty nice. I don’t know that she doesn’t have a lot to say. I think she’s just careful what she does say.
Not that it matters much to Australia these days. You can understand why the republic debate is never going to end until we cut our formal ties with merry old England. Still, I love the royals. I covered them as a snapper for 25 years in London and loved every minute of it.
I think they’re terrific. For Britain. They’re great for tourism, the pomp and ceremony is all great.
The Brits love them — and the UK media are slavering over them day in and day out.
But I am also a republican. And as far as I’m concerned the royals are more about celebrity and gossip material these days than any serious state leadership.
The royals are outdated and irrelevant to Australia — although their historic importance should continue to be recognised.
That means we don’t need anyone changing our flag because of the Union Jack; too many brave Australians have died under it for us to forget that.
But while I support an Australian republic I think we need to know a lot more about how a republic would operate.
We’re over-governed already and we should do away with state governments.
We don’t need a republic if it’s going to mean a new level of red tape, bureaucracy and do-nothing public service empire-building.
There’s already way too many dummy politicians and public servants running around costing us a fortune, turning up at the opening of an envelope.
And look at the size of some of them. Like Lara MP John Eren, who fought hard to get it off on a free bike. And Corio MHR Richard Marles has written about eating all time while travelling around the world. I had to laugh that’s he’s trying to saving an antique sewer pipe like the Breakwater aqueduct — it’s full of the same stuff coming out of his mouth.
And people want to have a go at me over my abs! Unbelievable.
In reality, a republic is long overdue. I can’t believe our constitutional monarchy has lasted this long. I can’t believe we still have the pathetic Commonwealth Games, a total waste of time and money. I know the crowds still turn out for royal tours — that will continue while you have decent-looking princesses and pretty kids — but we can still invite them here anytime if we’re a republic.
The thing is, anyway, the royals are changing. They’ve been forced to by people like Lady Diana, by the media.
Gone are the days of royals only marrying nobles and aristocrats. Gone are the days of them only wedding virgins and arranged marriages.
Gone are the days of them having affairs on the side and keeping the public in the dark. Gone are the days of smuggling girls into the palace without the media finding out.
The royals are definitely changing. The goalposts have shifted.
The romance between William with Kate that flourished at university, Diana’s exposes — these have changed the whole game.
The royals are moving into the 21st century. They need to if they want to be relevant.
And Australia needs to become a republic if it wants to be rel- evant. We need to stand on our own two feet and not trip over England any more.
You have to wonder why the republic has become an issue once again. Here we are with all sorts of real problems — terror attacks, energy prices through the roof, people worried about losing their jobs, appalling infrastructure strangling the economy — and our leaders are fluffing about with less serious matters.
Sure, the republic might be an issue, but it’s hardly a massive one. Seems to me it’s more of a convenient distraction for our lazy, non-performing politicians from just how bad a job they’re doing. And how badly they’re letting us all down.
Funny thing is, the Queen, as our ultimate leader, isn’t doing diddly-squat to sort them out. So who needs her?
I reckon bring on el Presidente! Vote 1 Lyons. I’m happy to be a benevolent dictator. I’d sort out this mess in a week.