My pet peeves
STOP calling me a bad person because I don’t like your pet.
The above sentence is enough to make pet owners and animal lovers quiver and twist their faces into a look of pure disgust. I know this because it’s the same look I have been met with my entire life.
I just don’t like animals. I never have, and I think, at 23, it’s safe to say I probably never will. I’m not just talking about pigs or cows either — get your dog off me.
For the most part I try to keep this fact under wraps because I am always met with hateful shock and I am made to literally feel as if I have just murdered an infant.
“What kind of a person doesn’t like animals?” they say.
I’ll tell you what kind of person, someone who knows animals for what they are: gross and dirty creatures that poo everywhere and get drool all over everything. I just do not understand. I’ve been like this since I was a kid.
Back then, I didn’t like animals because I was genuinely afraid of them.
That adolescent fear has since evolved into a strong dislike, with the exception of my family’s two dogs which it has taken me years to only slightly tolerate, kind of like that annoying uncle you have.
Are you going to burn me at the stake now, or what?
For once in my life, you pet lovers are going to sit down and listen to what it’s like to be me.
These are the very real struggles of being anti-animals:
“You just haven’t met the right pet yet”
Save it. This is probably the most common argument I hear. Normally, this statement is followed by a phone forced into my face with pictures of pets on it. Yes, I know your animal goggles make you think your dog/cat/rabbit/ whatever is the cutest thing in the world, but it doesn’t work on me, ok? OK?
Your pet photos on social media are irritating as
There is nothing worse for me than opening up Instagram and bam! Close-up cat photo. I don’t really care if your dog just got groomed or turned four, make a separate account or keep it to yourself.
“Did something traumatic happen to you in you childhood to make you this way?”
Did something traumatic happen to you in your childhood to make you think people can think differently than you and not be horrible person?
Pet owners in public that assume everyone loves animals
Picture this: I’m walking down the street showing absolutely no sign that I want this dog to come near me, none. Dog proceeds to come near me, I proceed to back away. Pet owner does nothing. I am being jumped on and hating every second. Again with the animal goggles, not everyone wants to pat your slobbering mess.
I will try to avoid visiting people with huge dogs or cats
It’s just that uncomfortable for me to be in a house with animals that come near me, period. I have zero interest in getting cat hair all over my clothes, or having my shoes eaten by a dog. I cannot enjoy myself unless I know exactly where your furry friend is at all times.
“Oh, Kate doesn’t like (insert your pet’s name) so keep them out of here”
This sentence makes me want to crawl inside myself and disappear forever. This may seem like a nice sentiment, but I know what you’re doing you sneaky pet owner. Not once in my life has this sentence been said sincerely, people just cannot get over the fact that I don’t want their animal around and they want everyone else to know what a horrible monster I am. (Cue daggers from everyone in the house)
Disliking animals does not mean I want to see them harmed
Occasionally when something horrible happens to an animal someone will say “does that make you happy”? Are you kidding? You don’t like that girl in your literature class but I am sure you wouldn’t find joy in seeing her seriously suffer. Please.
All right pet owners, my rant is over. You may now pick your jaw up off the floor, delete me off Facebook, whatever you need to do. Carry on with your day (covered in hair or slobber). Kate Bartels is studying Journalism at
Deakin University.