The tale twists
PREVIOUSLY on “How to Avoid Saying Sorry” the Australian Foreign Minister suggested that she would have trouble trusting a New Zealand Labour government.
This provocative statement was made publicly and recorded by the Australian assembled media.
Julie Bishop had been speaking to the press in the wake of the revelations about the Barnaby Joyce citizenship fiasco. For those of you who missed that episode, here’s a mini-recap:
There had been a suggestion that the Australian Labor Party had communicated and potentially colluded with the New Zealand Labour Party in order to discover the true nationality of the Australian Deputy Prime Minister.
The Deputy Prime Minister is a member of the National Party and had no idea that he potentially had dual citizenship, and potentially was ineligible to stand for Parliament.
This shocking plot twist pushed the Australian Foreign Minister to the edge. She believed the communication between Australia and New Zealand Labour was tantamount to treason. She condemned both sides of the Tasman and said: “Should there be a change of government, I would find it very hard to build trust with those involved in allegations designed to undermine the government of Australia ... I would find it very difficult to build trust with members of a political party that had been used by the Australian Labor Party to seek to undermine the Australian government.” Dramatic music. Coming up! In this week’s episode the fear becomes a reality.
Thirty-something New Zealand Labour leader Jacinda Ardern does a deal with New Zealand First and the NZ Greens and the Land of the Long White Cloud presents to the world . . . a female Labour Prime Minister. What will Julie do now? For those of you who have been watching carefully, you don’t need to go back to iView or play catch up on the story development on this one.
We all know by now that Australian politicians don’t say “Sorry, got that one wrong. Let’s move on.”
Doesn’t matter whether it’s the NBN or the Cash for Clunkers. Nobody apologises and nobody gives ground to the Opposition.
True to form, Ms Bishop denied that her proclamations had created a problem. She preferred to think that either nobody was listening, or her statement hadn’t been worth reporting.
She referred journalists to the words that she had actually said, instead of th e meaning that she had tried to convey. In her opinion, her language was entirely appropriate and there was no need to go back and build fences. Why on earth would an Australian politician even think about admitting fault to a New Zealander?
Ms Ardern took the incident in her stride. Went on with the work of actually leading a whole country and declared that in her opinion capitalism had failed and New Zealand would be committing to a target of zero emissions by 2050. This is a whole series in itself. This is the spin-off that will bring the franchise into profit. It’s going to be interesting to see how long this progressive optimism
can last. Ardern has only been leader of her own party for two months, she is down to earth and leading a minority government. She is the epitome of a circuit breaker. Now New Zealand has the chance to see if the real outsider model can actually work. It could reshape the mould. Established voices on both sides of the parliament in Australia have been entrenched in the established storyline for so long they have forgotten that Australians want excitement, progress and refreshment.
Our mob are reminiscent of Fonzie on Happy Days. They’re comfortable hanging out at the burger stand, wearing leather jackets to brand themselves as cool and progressive. They don’t want to move forward with the big stuff of life. And just like the Fonze they cannot bring themselves to admit they might be “wr-r-r-r-r-... incorrect.”
Australia and New Zealand have a long history together. We have fought common causes, we have gone to wars together and played sports in a healthy spirit of friendly competition. We are mates. The next few years of transTasman politics are going to be a fascinating excursion into the unknown. They may be a disaster of epic proportions, or they may prove to be the most exciting development so far.
Either way, it is going to be riveting viewing. Ross Mueller is a freelance writer and playwright