Punting’s bum notes
YESTERDAY’S path to a punting profit was hemmed in from the very start.
Key obstacles included the recent payment of one electricity bill and the impending payment of one car registration, which dictated a small starting bank in the never-ending quest to make a fortune, while sitting at my desk, while producing a newspaper, and writing this.
How I longed to be at the track, watching the first-time punters in their white plastic-rimmed, service station bought “speed dealer’’ sunglasses with matching fake snakeskin shoes . . . ahhh the memories.
Things started well before Race 1 — I was already $10.50 in the black after not being required to pay for parking because of the public holiday, made even greater after I was unable to have a wager on that race because I had to reset my punting password, which I had forgotten.
Thoughts immediately turned to Race 2 and the early quaddie, using the parking money, and adopting a theme for the day — music — which inevitably led to a very small $2.50 each way investment on Ubinthunderstruck (AC/DC), and another loyalty bet on old mate Crafty Cruiser.
Hopes were high, confidence was good. Until roughie Zilbiry decided to get in the way, saluting at $22.50 and in the process ensuring my 4 per cent quaddie was now as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike. Ubin ran third for a mighty collect of $3.25. Better than nothing. Just.
Rather than take the favourite in Race 3, I foolishly went for my favourite number (5, Startierra $26). In hindsight I should have just set fire to a $5 note.
I liked Astro Castro ($7.50) in the next, and maintained the mantra of just $2.50 each-way.
Jockey Dwayne Dunn booted him first past the post and suddenly “break-even’’ was a realistic outcome. And it was still very early. Back in a small way, I revisited the musical theme with Broadway And First (George Benson), and had a nibble at Divine Ten ($19).
Broadway ran fourth. Divine Ten is still running, so I’m told. The punt giveth, the punt taketh away. In the sixth, Weather With You (Crowded House), Mighty Quinn (Manfred Mann), fitted the musical bill, but I was drawn to Justice Faith, a Hayes/Dabernigtrained horse with Cory Parish on board about 25-1, tempted by a Caulfield CupBoom Time winning combo all over again.
I threw them all into a box trifecta with Astoria for $3 and a measly 5 per cent return, doubled my stake on Justice Faith to $5 each way, and hoped for the best given I’d just realised I’d left the favourite, Savaheat, out.
Weather With You saluted, which I didn’t back each-way, Justice Faith was no good, and Astoria grabbed third for two out of three in the trifecta, which was also no good because Oceans Fourteen ran second which I didn’t include. Bum. Double bum. I couldn’t make up my mind in the Cup and the favourite Gallic Chieftain was far too short for a $2.50 each-way mug like me, so in a fit of stupidity I backed the local hope Kawabata at $67, and put it into a box trifecta with a few others and made a wish.
After the Cup was run and won by Vengeur Masque, I recalled a wise person once telling me that “If you wish in one hand and spit in the other, guess which one will fill-up first.’’ Hmmm. Wet hand. No cash. The run of outs continued in the eighth after I decided to pick Geelong’s own Adalita (lead singer from ’90s Australian indie-rock outfit Magic Dirt), who finished last. Funds and confidence were low. First thought was the musically minded Amadeus, or the sound of thundering hoofs in Tigidig Tigidig.
I had a registration flashback and thought about the Cox Plate. Should I go silly, or play smart and back the favourite Private Lounge at $3.40?
I played silly, picked my favourite number again (5, Harbour Grey), who looked set for a big finish on the home turn until stopping halfway down the straight after taking a sideways glance and promptly ran fourth to Just Hifalutin, Sang Choi Bao and Private Lounge.
In the wash-up, the damage wasn’t too bad. It hadn’t been a great day, but the losses hadn’t been great either. I was down but not out.
A few coins remained in the kick to put towards the car registration.
Or the Cox Plate on Saturday.