Food and bev masters
WHAT do the food and beverage prices at Augusta National for the US Masters have to do with going to the footy, I hear you ask? Well, for the benefit of you all, and especially Paul and Russell and Co. (thanks for reading lads), please let me, in a very roundabout way, explain.
A grilled chicken wrap at Augusta National this weekend will set you back a PALTRY $US3! Can you believe it?
If you think that is VALUE, then imagine washing it down while watching TIGER WOODS nail a 60-foot putt with a $4 DOMESTIC BEER or a $5 IMPORTED or AMERICAN CRAFT BEER! Are you listening AFL? I mean, if you’re going to completely Americanise our great game, stop prevaricating around the bush and just go the WHOLE FLAMIN’ HOG and pick up the food and beverage vibe while you’re at it. And never mind the conversion, it’s still DIRT CHEAP.
Just six days ago, the Payneful Truth and junior spent IN EXCESS of $15 for a chicken (something masquerading as chicken) in a roll with a HINT of lettuce and DROP of mayo and some chips at an AFL venue.
I can feel your OUTRAGE build as you read this, but fear not, because the SILVER LINING to this tale of retail woe was offset by some FREE pre-match facepainting for junior and the realisation that because I had driven to the station I would not be partaking in $10.20 pale ales either, therefore SAVING A FORTUNE in the process.
Except for the $30 hat to keep the sun from junior’s little face because it was still daylight saving which meant we were in FULL SUN for the first half of a game that should’ve started at 2.10pm instead of 4.35.
We only have about 35 of the hats at home but because I was too worried about us getting cold I forgot to pack them instead making sure there was warm clothing and some water and chips and chocolate eggs and a pen to write the goals in the footy record and a battery pack for junior’s iPad which if it had gone flat on the train on the way home would’ve caused World War 3 inside a confined space which you REALLY DON’T WANT TO HAPPEN LET ME TELL YOU.
Anyway I’m way off track now (pardon the pun) but I suppose the moral of my insane ramblings today is that I reckon you could fly return to Augusta National for a sandwich for less than a few rounds of pale ales at the footy and if you’re sitting in M12 at the MCG this weekend DON’T FORGET YOUR BLOODY HAT.