What are the odds?

THIS week I’d planned to take the week off from writing a column after daydreaming that I was going to win the Royal Melbourne Hospital Lottery and retire early which was, as it turned out, a very ambitious and unlikely outcome.

But having now introduced the two key topics of gambling and expectation into this week’s column, I feel it only fair to continue with the same theme, with a football bent. So with that in mind, did you know:

BANNING advertisements for wagering companies before 8.30pm on matches broadcast for free-to-air or pay-TV to minimise their impact on junior viewers is likely to have minimal impact when the same rule does not apply to all the signage at AFL venues which are seen by the same sets of little eyes on the same television sets on high rotation from the opening bounce 40 minutes before.

LIGHT emitting diode (LED) fences at Perth Stadium are more likely to be dangerous than the Perth crowd itself. In fact, the odds of slicing your hand open and requiring stitches on what have been technically termed “sharp bits that eventually go smooth’’ are much shorter than they are of you correctly selecting a four-leg multi.

COLLINGWOOD players are more likely to be injured during a light run or tying their bootlaces at training than they would be slicing their hand open at Perth Stadium. This is because they don’t play at Perth Stadium until Round 23 and logic dictates that if you’re always getting injured at training then it becomes even harder to get injured playing in the seniors when you’re never fit enough to have a crack at it in the first place.

GEELONG supporters are more likely to suggest the recently returned No. 4 from the Gold Coast Suns via Modewarre should never have gone to the Perth Stadium in the first place after he sustained a hamstring injury, even though none of them had any problem with him travelling there the week before.

GREATER Western Sydney supporters are more likely to be fictional than those from other clubs, Brisbane Lions supporters are more likely to wish they were GWS supporters and a couple of Carlton fans I spoke to this week told me they were more likely to support the West Gate Bridge.

FINALLY, changes to rules, in particular deliberate out of bounds (which is a bit like a guessing game unless the home team might be trailing late in the match and needs a kickstart) are more likely to take place than leaving the game well alone because it was just fine as it was.