At a loss over Blues

ASIDE from stories about hush money, a decorated former premiership player/coach facing drugs charges, a police investigation into a pesky little video doing the rounds featuring a former footballer in a naked “sex romp’’ (romps while wearing clothes clearly draw less attention) and Richmond being outright flag favourite for the first time this century, it has been a relatively quiet week in football. Of sorts.

This is interesting given all the talk about what’s actually wrong with what’s happening on the field, and whether we need another one of those think-tanks (same as every other year) to right all the wrongs that we’re not really sure exist in the first place.

Such as the draw, which is fine and keeps one of the traditions and remaining nuances of our game intact as opposed to all the other sports in the universe which are boring in comparison.

Then there’s the issue about players at local level ending up with life bans after putting people in hospital with coward punches on-field — another pesky little problem that might just take precedence over the “spectacle’’ of the game, with regard to concerns about the number of stoppages and average number of goals scored, rather than the number of people being hospitalised with broken jaws.

And we most definitely shouldn’t get bogged down in issues that impact supporters of the game, such as food and beverage prices at AFL venues which even piqued the interest of some high-profile footy commentators including Gerard Whateley (who raised it on radio this week, I’m told, thanks Mr Harris) when the powers-that-be are instead busy concentrating on finding new digs for AFL House at New Quay for cheap rent (with water views you’d expect) while Docklands gets a $255 million makeover to keep the game affordable for fans.

This is a wonderful initiative but does not guarantee a reduction/price freeze on beer and wine and hot chip prices, though it does keep the Grand Final at the MCG until 2057, even though by then it might start at 3am to maximise overseas audience ratings in Uzbekistan.

But perhaps of more real concern (or joy, depending on your background) is the indisputable fact that the Carlton Football Club has suffered its worst start to the season in history (0-6) having not won a home and away match to date.

If the Blues were a building, they’d be Flinders St Station — constantly under some sort of rebuild with no completion date in sight.

And so, with tomorrow’s blockbuster between the Blues (18th) and Adelaide (5th) looming large (not quite as large as the fallout from a 0-22 season might loom larger), it’s time we put forward a few realistic reasons as to how Carlton might resurrect season 2018, and bring some joy to its supporters.

But the trouble is, try as I might, I can’t, because truth be known, there are none. At all.