The envelope, please
THE 60th Logie Awards will be on the telly on Sunday night, a gala event like no other, which introduces hundreds of thousands of viewers to a room full of TV stars and executives who progressively become more inebriated throughout the evening until one gets up on stage after 11pm during an acceptance speech and drops the F-Bomb (just like the year before), which was big news in 1994 but less so now, but I’ll be watching because the fashions are always interesting.
Anyway, with this in mind, it’s timely to re-boot The Payneful Truth’s mid-season-ish Footy Logies, giving various performances that have so far gone unnoticed the recognition they so richly deserve. BEST PERFORMANCE IN A FICTIONAL 12-WEEK DRAMA: West Coast Eagles, for their stunning effort in Premiership Masquerades. The Eagles have yet again shown that even if you give them a free-kick count worthy of a royal commission and build them a home ground that mimics the dimensions at the MCG, it does not make you immune from a visit from the fraud squad. Honourable mention to Melbourne FC. THE NO ONE REALLY CARES AWARD FOR SOME “SPECIAL INTEREST’’ SHOW SUBSIDISED BY AN OVERARCHING BODY WITH A VIEWERSHIP OF UNDER 10,000 PEOPLE: Jointly awarded to Gold Coast Suns and GWS Giants. Next . . . KARL STEFANOVIC AWARD: (SERVICES TO BEING FAMOUS FOR NOTHING IN PARTICULAR): St Kilda does it again for another stunning effort in being not that good, not that bad, not very relevant and about as interesting as a public marriage breakdown involving the person after whom this prestige award is named. BEST LIFESTYLE SHOW: North Melbourne goes back-to-back with Gone Fishin’. Having nailed the brief in 2017 trying to land a big catch in Josh Kelly, Norf does it again this time with Jordan De Goey in what experts say will be another case of the one that got away. BEST COMEDY SERIES: Been a long time between drinks but the decision was unanimous: Adelaide. Opening with last year’s hilarious grand final performance, the Crows have had us in stitches again in 2018 with a string of meek performances. First time they’ve snapped up this one since Crow Nigel ‘Not So’ Smart kicked off his shoes and walked across burning hot coals at a pre-season camp back in 1992, suffering severe burns to his feet as a result, which was not entirely unexpected. Enjoy the Logies and the F-Bomb right at the end.