Cyber-insecurity complex

How on earth can anybody possibly secure their account?

I defy anybody to narrow their favourite movies down to less than three. It depends on the genre, the time of day, the mood.

All the President’s Men is as good as Godzilla, but you can’t go past Terminator 2: Judgment Day for solid storytelling.

Making the wrong decision could be a disaster for security, especially if I am in a hurry.

So, next. Favourite TV show … Just. Impossible.

Nobody can isolate Seinfeld from Curb Your Enthusiasm. There is a lineage. There is no “favourite”.

This category is bewildering, I move on. What? Favourite food? Inconceivable! Japanese, Italian, Korean, Vietnamese. No! I refuse to choose! This question is a contradiction in itself.

I was fuming and fumbling like a lost set of keys. What the hell is happening? Who was designing this Matrix? (Oh, that’s a good movie too.)

The most obvious and classic security question (without question) was missing!

“What is the name of your favourite sports team?”

I scrolled all the way down … nothin’!

No wonder I was confused.

Nobody gets the sports team question wrong. It’s like asking what is in your genome?

What is the third strand in your DNA?

Favourite sports team is not a question; it is admissible evidence. Undeniable, human truth. And then it hit me. These questions are actually written by somebody.

The market in security questions could be an opportunity for social growth.

Instead of trying to think of a favourite movie, what about …

“What is your solution to global warming?”

“Do you think people kill people or do guns kill people?”

“Should the mayor be flying overseas while rates are going up and up?”

If we’re going to be answering questions based on taste and mood for our personal security, then maybe we should be exercising our minds.

I would love to write these questions. How much fun would that be? How do you get that job? Well ... they probably go to people who are already in cyber-security.

In the words of George Costanza, “That’s really not fair.” I know … I know. I went with Seinfeld. Ross Mueller is a freelance writer and director