Better together
WHEN is it best to compete and when is it best to collaborate?
How much should we focus on competing as opposed to collaborating in our efforts to bring out the best in ourselves as well as in those around us?
It can’t be a straightforward issue, as the balance often seems to be out of whack in our political leadership, in business dealings and other relationships.
I keep pondering this issue after attending a science and spirituality conference in Canada.
A geologist presenter, Gregg Braden, believes that we often get the balance wrong because of our distorted understanding of evolution, claiming that we have been too strongly schooled in the idea that our survival and progress has required us to struggle and compete for scarce resources.
He says there is too little emphasis on the human archaeological record showing that the greatest progress in human evolution comes from collaboration.
For a start, let’s consider our political leadership. Our parliament is a hotbed of brazen and rude competition.
The overriding tone is often one of contempt, with openly dismissive body language when someone from another party is speaking and slurs repeatedly thrown at each other.
Our politicians are meant to be some of our most resourceful citizens, charged with representing us all. Sometimes I think the closest they come to uniting the community is to have us all join in a chorus of disappointment.
I’m sure that their strongly adversarial approach is much of the problem.
Further afield, President Trump, probably the world’s currently most influential leader, has referred to the European Union as a foe, maligning many historically allied countries.
Combined with his nonconfrontational approach toward President Putin of Russia, it’s no longer even clear who the main competitors are, but his adversarial tone seems ever-present.
What about our relationships? As a therapist, I commonly see couples who obviously care for each other, but who fight in a range of ways over seemingly minor issues.
This obviously causes them both great pain. They have often stopped listening to each other while putting forward their competing views. I’m sure many of us have fallen into that trap at times.
There is underlying cross-generational competition reflected in our handling of issues including climate change, home affordability and youth unemployment.
How much are we prepared to contribute or sacrifice to address these in a collaborative way?
On the positive side, I think this was what was so uplifting about the recent Thai cave rescue. It was a truly collaborative international effort with 50 countries represented. The combined effort led to a miraculous result.
Those recognised as individual heroes, like Australian diver Dr Richard Harris, were quick to acknowledge the efforts of “hundreds, perhaps thousands” of others.
The overriding message seemed to be what marvels could be achieved if people thoughtfully combined their efforts toward a common goal.
This was especially remarkable because it happened in a country with such serious and longstanding ethnic and political conflict. More than 6000 Thais have reportedly been killed since 2004 in a virtual civil war.
During the Thai cave rescue there was much discussion around who might be retrieved first, the strongest or the most vulnerable.
It was especially uplifting that they worked so collaboratively with utter concern for the safety and retrieval of all. They weren’t focused on survival of the fittest.
As time passes after this extraordinary event, I wonder how we could draw from its example. I wonder how we could further collaborate across sectors of our society to transcend differences and achieve goals that also keep in mind those who are most vulnerable and living at the margins.
I used to think that competition was perhaps important for survival, but collaboration was most important for thriving.
Finally, I wonder what role the media could have in shifting the current emphasis on stories focusing on competitive conflict as opposed to collaboration. Focusing on competition and conflict no doubt helps for dramatic coverage. However, even though few stories about people’s collaborative efforts might be as delightful and dramatic as the cave rescue, they are still likely to be uplifting. I think those stories are good for us all. Chris Mackey is principal psychologist at Chris Mackey and Associates and a Fellow of the Australian Psychological Society.