Wife‘s been living a financial lie
DEAR D Barefoot,
I am afraid I will ruin my m marriage. Together with life, ho honeymoon, etc, my husband ha has $35,000 of credit card de debt (to which I was a major co contributor). What he does no not know is that, after this, I to took out two credit cards and ap a personal loan, which is cu currently at $12,000. I have al also kept hidden from him pa part of my salary (I earn $8 $81,000 a year) which I use to pay my secret debt. I feel sick. How do I come clean and not lose him?
Alice Hi Alice,
You’re not a bad person. You wouldn’t be feeling the way you do right now if you were. You’re just financially out of control, and you don’t know what to do. I totally get that.
However, the only hope you have for rebuilding your life and your marriage is to take control of your situation.
If I were in your shoes, I’d do three things.
First, sit down and tell your husband the truth.
Print out all your statements and put them all on the table in front of you. Don’t leave anything out. Second, explain how you got into this situation. Do you have a gambling problem? What’s driving you to act like this? Apologise for lying to him and accept total responsibility for your actions.
Third, commit to changing things from today. What’s done is in the past.
You could spend the next few years continually beating yourself up about it, but all that will do is ensure you don’t have the confidence and strength you’ll need to prove to your husband that you’re making amends. Barefoot,
I am a 26-year-old at uni studying accounting. To cut a long story short, I saved up $35,000 and lent it to my dentist (via a loan contract) a couple of years ago. He was meant to invest the money in gold, but turns out the whole thing was a scam.
I have been fighting to get it back since, including recently reporting him to APRA. After I did this, he got someone else to pay me back the $35,000. I would love your advice on what to do with it now that it’s back.
Melanie Hi Melanie,
Find a new dentist would be my first piece of advice.
I totally freak out when I visit my dentist, but your guy is filling you with laughing gas and drilling your wallet? Frankly, I still can’t work out how you got the money back.
Anyway, for the $35,000, I’d suggest you fill up your Barefoot buckets, especially Mojo (never know when you’ll need some emergency dental work done), and put the rest in an online savings account towards a home deposit.
No more toothaches!