All aboard the journos’ gravy train
WHAT’S the most common question when I tell people I write about AFL for a living?
Who is the best player to interview? Nope.
Who is the angriest coach? Nope.
Do you ever get starstruck? Not that either. So what is it then? It’s always about the press box and what it’s like in there.
I guess for many they see it as like Willy Wonka’s factory where the journo Oompa Loompas dance and sing and be merry while writing stories on the game.
In reality it’s just a big room with lots of cynical old men, journos with ridiculous egos, a few normal people and about a million people with club polos ranging from the media guy or girl to the Twitter person.
So what is the best part of the press box? The food.
And let me tell you, journos and a stack of free tucker is a match made in heaven.
The MCG is a smorgasbord of eats.
There’s the salads and fruit salads that are brought out pregame. There’s the party pies, sausage rolls and sweet treats at halftime. And there is also a supply of subs hidden away from sight. You can get your hands on one of those if you ask the bloke behind the counter nicely enough. I was in a food coma after my first shift at the ‘G. They had to roll me into the rooms post-game. But free food and finals can also bring out the worst in journos. You see, at this time of year a lot of writers that you never see at the games tend to turn up. One person in particular has caught the eye of the Addy sports scribes over the years. I won’t name names, but his organisation starts with KM.
I’ve never seen someone steal so much food in my life.
Take Friday night, for example. Despite not having to write anything, The Man was there three hours before the game, munching away at a salad and a sanga.
He was gone five minutes before halftime, filling up two plates full of party pies and sausage rolls.
After stocking up, he returned to his seat where he wrapped both plates up and put them into his bag, returning to the back of the line to get some food for “now”.
I’ve always wondered what The Man does with the food he so shamelessly steals.
Surely pastries that have been in a backpack for hours aren’t that great to eat?