Forever with us
EARLIER this year we went to see the wonderful children’s movie Coco.
It is a story based on the Mexican tradition of the Day of the Dead.
It is a day where the dead are remembered and their legacy is celebrated.
In the movie, the dead exist for as long as they are remembered by their descendants back on earth.
More recently, our children put on costumes and grabbed pillow cases and walked the neighbourhood streets in celebration of Halloween (or at least in the search of individually-packed sugary treats).
Halloween is the eve before the Christian festival Allhallowtide, which celebrates and remembers those who have passed.
Last Sunday on Ocean Grove beach we stopped, transfixed by the raised oars, were silent and remembered the contribution of those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom with one minute of silence.
Remembering family and friends that have passed in our day-to-day lives is often done by talking about them and using their advice or home remedies or recipes with our friends, family and children.
In doing this we pass on not only the fact that they existed but the importance of their existence and contribution to our lives.
This also allows us to celebrate and remember them on more than one day a year.
My Poppa, who passed away several years ago, was a father of nine children … and the master of the home remedy.
Poppa is remembered and talked about every single time any member of our family has a mozzy bite.
I suspect you may not know this but the cure to mozzie bites is to rub a tiny amount of Vicks VapoRub onto them.
There is immediate relief from the itch and they disappear completely in a matter of hours. Poppa continues to contribute to our lives in every day way.
My Nanna was less about home remedies and more about language and advice, always accompanied by a cup of weak, milky tea.
I was 42 when she passed away. She still called me a “little bobby dazzler” every time we spoke. A God-fearing Irish Catholic, she was somewhat superstitious and would, to get rid of the bad spirits that seemed to invade her kitchen, rub grains of salt in her right fingertips and then throw them over her left shoulder.
We remembered Nanna, her humour and her salt ritual recently when travelling back from Bendigo after a rowing regatta with a car full of teenage girls.
The girls in the back seat wanted to remove the curse of coming second that they felt was travelling with their crew.
They asked if I had any curse cures. I explained that I didn’t. To remove bad spirits and bad luck, though, my Nanna would often throw salt over her left shoulder.
The girls laughed but I noticed the following week, before their next regatta, our eldest daughter Bella pouring salt from the container into a ziplock bag to take to the regatta.
I am not saying it worked, but I will say is they won two gold and a silver medal that day, and in turn my Nanna was remembered by family and friends.
My father-in-law Don loved to play golf.
My husband and our children’s connection with that game is in larg large part an expression of their love for and connection to him.
I know that each time they play it is a moment of reflection and connection to Don. It allows him to continue to be present and con connected to our lives.
T The importance of remembering family and friends who have pass passed and who have contributed to o our lives cannot be underestimat mated. It gives us gratitude, connect nection and a sense of history.
I It provides understanding whe when we see in our children traits that existed in our parents or gran grandparents.
I It provides context to the nam names on our family tree and to our nation’s history.
W While their passing brought pai pain and loss and grief, remembe bering them has brought for me as a sense of joy — a comfort that th they are still with us every day.
Rachel Ra Schutze is a principal lawyer at Gordon Go Legal, wife and mother of three. thre [Ed’s note: Ms Schutze is married to CoCorio MP Richard Marles.]