It’s 10 out of 10

I didn’t think about technology and its impact on the party. I didn’t need to. There was none.

Having made a poor parenting decision for Bella’s 10th birthday there was no way that our son, Harvey, was going to let us out of the same obligation for his

10th birthday. This time we had 10 of his mates stay the night. We organised for the under-18 captains of their local footy team to run them ragged for two hours at a local park in an attempt to exhaust them.

Yet again the attempt was futile. After about 72 requests for them to go to sleep, at 4.45am I had to remove the birthday-boy instigator and put him to bed upstairs, away from his mates. The party finally went to sleep for about two hours.

At Harv’s party, while all the boys owned iPads, only one or two brought them to the party. None of them had any social media apps installed on their iPads. The iPads were used to play games in the morning while waiting for the other boys to wake up.

Six years on from our initial parenting error, recently we hosted our last 10th birthday sleepover party for Georgia. There was much about it which was the same as the other parties. It was a gorgeous group of children. They are funny and kind and lift each other up rather than tear each other down. The one standout difference at this party was technology. Unlike Bella’s party six years ago, where no one had their own iPad at 10 the unofficial running sheet created by the girls in advance of the party was that they intended to create and post TikToks throughout the party.

The mums learnt of the plan in advance of the party and agreed that the idea of 10-year-olds creating TikToks in their PJs potentially at 2.30am in the morning and posting them was less than ideal. I sent a text message to the mum of each attendee before the party asking them to ensure that their child did not bring any technology to the party.

The girls spent the afternoon and early evening in the pool and playing old-fashioned party games. There was squealing and giggling and 10-year-olds being 10-yearolds and not once did they ask for any technology.

It was, however, a clear reminder to me about the ever-increasing impact of technology on the lives of our children and how rapidly the world has moved from a world where a personal device for a 10-year-old was unheard of to a world where it is the norm.

It is also a stark reminder that no matter how hard we try to keep up with their world, sometimes it is incumbent on us, in their best interests, to just say no.

Rachel Schutze is a principal lawyer of Gordon Legal, wife and mother of three. [Ed’s note: Ms Schutze is married to Corio MP Richard Marles].