SCHOOL-TIME BATTLEGROUND

OUR kids are barely back at school after remote learning and now term break is looming. Any wonder some may be feeling a little unsettled.

It’s normal for children not to want to go to school at times, but that doesn’t make the morning battle any easier.

Many frustrated parents will be dealing with the phrase ‘I’m not going to school today’. If, like most of these parents, you find yourself feeling irritated and angry, you are not alone.

But overcoming the power struggle that follows will come down to having communication techniques in place to moderate your response and get your child on their way to class.

Leading clinical psychologist Dr Anna Cohen, from Kids & Co, has these solutions for parents struggling to get their child out the door and to school in the mornings — without the kicking and screaming.

DON’T LOSE CONTROL

Staying in charge of the situation means that parents should avoid the escalation trap of engaging in an argument. Instead, avoid the power struggle by waiting for your child to calm down, enabling you to constructively speak to them about any underlying issues or concerns.

The key is to identify the problem and find a reasonable solution that, in the long term, will help your child enjoy going to school everyday.

CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK

Giving children in your care the chance to express their feelings, needs, thoughts and ideas is an important way to understand why they may not want to go to school.

A direct communication approach will be essential to finding out how you can help.

Using constructive phrases such as ‘What are you trying to tell me’ or ‘What can we do to solve this problem?’ will open the line of communication for your child to talk to you, while helping to scaffold their problem solving, so they can effectively communicate with you and be heard.

GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT

Children are still developing their sense of self-esteem and confidence in their own abilities. One reason many children do not want to attend school is because they may feel overwhelmed about moving into a new year group, or are lacking confidence in their academic level.

This can lead to school having negative connotations and may result in feelings of jealousy or inadequacy.

Giving your child the message that “you are capable and loved” is crucial in helping them feel valued, and will build their self-confidence.

AVOID ARGUING

It is not possible to be an in-charge parent when you are arguing with your child. Even if you are feeling frustrated or angry, maintain a calm composure and avoid engaging in an immature and destructive situation, as this will not lead to a successful resolution.

MAKE HOME DAYS BORING

Some children may want to skip school because they find home more fun.

Help your child to transition from remote learning at home or the school holidays by implementing more structure, such as allocated screen time and regular bed times.

The solution could also be to make staying home from school boring. If your child is actually sick, don’t treat a sick day as a fun day.

Take care of them but don’t reward them with a movie day or treats as they will feel encouraged to take more days off.

IDENTIFY ANY PROBLEMS

If you find your child is consistently avoiding going to school and shows signs of anxiety or panic, there may be an underlying issue behind their resistance.

Children can experience stress from conflict with family or friends, starting a new school year, academic difficulties, bullying or disliking a teacher.

Parents may need to focus on these factors to find a solution, and it may be necessary to contact their teacher to find a resolution.

Avoiding going to school is not an issue that can be ignored; it needs to be tackled head-on to avoid any long-term issues.

Many children can lack motivation at times, but having strategies in place that are encouraging and positive will help your child get back into routine and enjoying school.