Trust yourself
IN March, I wrote an opinion piece for the Geelong Advertiser outlining my tips for maintaining good mental health wellbeing during the COVID-19 pandemic. At that time, our society was facing an immense challenge, with the real threat that many in our community could become very ill.
Since then, we have seen the best of our society. We have worked together to maintain physical distancing and other public health measures, which has undoubtedly saved many lives. We have seen acts of kindness, generosity and a shared sense of community spirit like no time in my memory. But it hasn’t been easy.
The benefit of physical distancing has come at an obvious cost to our sense of mental wellbeing and connection to others. Whether it’s a result of working from home, enduring the loss of a job or a business, home-schooling children, losing access to a particular social support, or simply remaining vigilant to the potential threat of infection, life has just been harder.
While people have found new ways to remain connected with others, we have lost the opportunity to be present with friends, families and colleagues. Losing our usual stress relievers — whether that be sport, a movie, or a simple walk on the beach — have added additional layers of loneliness and grief to our everyday lives.
In the past few months, and as recently as last week, our sense of community wellbeing in our region has been further rocked by the tragic deaths of five young people to suicide this year. This has brought about significant reporting in the media, and understandable community concern both in the communities affected and more broadly. This concern follows warnings Australia may be at risk of a surge of mental health issues in the wake of COVID-19, due to the impacts of social disconnection and economic downturn. An increase in suicide is unfortunately one of the predicted tragic consequences.
Suicide is immensely challenging for families and communities, and this is especially the case with the loss of a child or teenager. Several suicides close together within a given community, as has occurred recently in Geelong, can create a fear that more will occur. It is important to remember that, while every teen suicide is one too many, it is uncommon. Unfortunately, the stigma associated with mental illness, suicide and distress that leads to suicide can further compound feelings of isolation.
As a community we can significantly influence this. As a psychiatrist, my understanding of why a person may feel suicidal has been greatly assisted by the work of psychologist Thomas Joyner, who informs that suicidal thoughts often result when a person feels disconnected from others (“thwarted belongingness”) and a burden on others and society (“perceived burdensomeness”). This understanding is powerful as it provides a guide to how I, or anyone, can help a person feeling suicidal. If you know a person feeling disconnected, reach out proactively in person, by phone or videoconference. Organise a kick of the footy or a walk in the park. Let them know you are there for them.
If you know of someone struggling and feeling a burden to others, help them understand the contribution they make to you and your community — remind them of a time they helped you out. Share how you are feeling too.
This power of community spirit has had no better example than the recent effort by former students of St Joseph’s College Geelong, who made a YouTube video expressing support to current students. The message was one of solidarity and an openness of support — what could work better to help students feel connected than that?
While many people in society are understandably struggling at the moment, there is tremendous power within our community to help each other through this period. While some people struggling at the moment will benefit from professional mental health assistance, don’t underestimate the power you have as a member of your community to help those around you.
My advice to parents, teachers and friends is to trust your instincts. Remember that kindness and compassion are contagious. Work harder now than ever to remain connected, and reach out to those who you believe may be struggling. If you are ever unsure of what you should do, access the many excellent resources available online or call a mental health service for advice. Most of all, look after yourself — both physically and mentally — so you can help those around you. headspace: 1800 650 890
Lifeline: 13 11 14