VICTIMS URGE COURAGE IN FACE OF TERROR
A GEELONG woman stalked by her ex-husband online for years has described her terror at her every move being tracked.
Jane*, left her husband in 2014 after years of what she described as psychological and occasional physical abuse.
Years later, she discovered he had created a fake Facebook profile under the pretence of being a distant relative and used it to monitor and keep in contact with her.
“He groomed my mum by pretending to be a long-lost relative,” Jane said.
“And he knew I’d done ancestry and would be open to helping people with their family tree.”
Her estranged husband pleaded guilty to intentionally causing injury, common assault and making a threat to kill last year.
The ruse was discovered after he changed the Facebook account’s photo and name to that of a woman’s, using the profile to contact a more recent ex-partner. “I searched Messenger and found all the messages from (the long-lost cousin) were now under this new name,” she said.
Almost seven years on from leaving the home, the victim said she was still “hypervigilant” online and offline.
“I have cameras everywhere,” she said. “I had nightmares for years about being choked, and it impacts my relationships.
“My partner will accidentally slam a door and I’ll jump a mile.”
Documents revealed one 2009 assault where the perpetrator choked and kicked the victim in the stomach after a disagreement. When she first tried to report the incident to police in 2009, Jane said officers advised her to go to the hospital and asked if she and her abuser would “kiss and make up” in the morning.
The situation wasn’t followed up until the online behaviour came to light 10 years later.
She said a decade later police attitudes were changing.
“I was hesitant to report the assault when (the detective) first asked me,” he said.
“But he never doubted me, just listened and took it seriously. And he saw it through.”
The man’s behaviour later impacted on another former partner, Sue*, who said leaving an abuser was often incredibly difficult and complicated.
“It wasn’t until I left that I realised how unhappy I was,” she said.
“There was a lot of psychological abuse that made me feel like I was living in crisis mode.”
Sue said connecting with local support services like Orange Door and counselling helped her get back on her feet.
“Time helped, a lot of reflection, good friends and support services,” she said.
“I’m not going to let him make me feel like that any more.”
Speaking out together now, both women want to break down the stigma around domestic violence.
“There’s more than one typical mould, and they may not present with bruises,” Jane said.
Sue said there was much, much more to be done to better support victims and their families.
“More often than not, leaving is the hardest thing,” Sue said. “It will get better, and there is support out there in the community.”
Speaking directly to other potential victim-survivors, Jane’s advice was simple.
“You’re not alone and it’s not your fault,” she said. “Reach out to someone. Nothing you’ve done justifies what has been done to you.”
*Names have been changed to protect the victims’ identities.
DEFENCE Minister Linda Reynolds is facing legal action for allegedly calling her former staffer Brittany Higgins a “lying cow” after she went public with claims she was raped in the then-Defence Industry Minister’s office.
Defamation lawyers sent the embattled minister a strongly worded legal letter on Thursday, demanding she apologise to Ms Higgins for her “belittling” and “demeaning” words.
Prime Minister Scott Morrison condemned the “inappropriate and wrong” language used by the senator but stood by her, confirming he expected her back at work after a period of medical leave.
Mr Morrison spoke with Senator Reynolds about the statement she made “in her private office in a stressful week” and was certain she had not been accusing Ms Higgins of lying about her assault claim.
“Her comments … related to the further commentary about levels of support provided, and her frustrations about how she felt that they were doing everything they believed in their power to provide support,” Mr Morrison said. “She deeply regrets it.
They were offensive remarks. She should never have made them. I don’t condone them.”
Asked if the Defence Minister should resign, Mr Morrison said she had apologised to the staff “about making what were inappropriate comments, long before it became public”.
The defamation action was launched after it was revealed Senator Reynolds made the “malicious” remarks in front of staff in an open-plan area of her parliamentary office.
Ms Higgins’ lawyer, Rebekah Giles, described the remark as a “distasteful character assassination” in the letter, reported by The Australian.
“Self-evidently, this demeaning and belittling statement, in which you refer to our client as a member of the animal kingdom and declare her to be untruthful, is highly defamatory of our client’s good character and unblemished reputation,” Ms Giles wrote.
Ms Higgins said the comments made by her former boss were “incredibly hurtful”.
“I appreciate that it has been a stressful time but that sort of behaviour and language is never excusable,” she said.
“It’s just further evidence of the toxic workplace culture that exists behind closed doors in Parliament House.”