Golf sure is a whole different challenge

“A GOOD walk spoiled” is how American writer Mark Twain is said to have described golf.

No doubt plenty would agree, but not this little black duck.

A work buddy and I decided to take up golf some years ago but let it slip before returning to the fold about 18 months ago.

And it didn’t take us long to get back into the swing of things, despite this writer’s biggest initial handicap being unable to hit straight and finding it easier to slap a ball into the wilderness than bring it to within a bull’s roar of any flag.

Having said that, there was one miraculous moment on Australia Day last year when all the stars aligned and, with the universe on my side, out of the blue I hit a hole in one on the 13th.

As we stood, gobsmacked, it took a few seconds tor this remarkable event, almost akin to the second coming, to sink in.

Twelve months on, I still revel in the moment.

Yes, yes, I know Tiger Woods hit his first hole in one at age 8 and even though, as the saying goes, I might be getting a bit long in the tooth, better late than never, right?

Now when we first started playing golf, it was quite a challenge.

I quickly learned birdies didn’t always sit in trees, eagles were more than feathered friends soaring high in search of prey and the albatross not only outsizes the previous two, but could also be found on a golf course as well as at sea.

Those were the days when “clubs” were places where you danced the night away, a “putter” was a Ford Model T and a “driver” the bloke behind the wheel.

When a “stroke” was something the kids almost gave you the time they dropped the dead snake in your bath and a “wedge” was something you had when your undies were too tight.

“Irons” had a more significant purpose than being shackled round ankles, a “buggy” wasn’t some fancy horse-drawn cart and when you mentioned your “par” you were not talking about your grandfather.

Nor was a “bunker” an underground bomb shelter left over from World War II and a “double bogey” was not someone “twice as scary” coming to get you in the night.

Good news is that, since then, we have adapted to the lingo and continue to play in all kinds of weather, come rain, hail or shine.

There are, however, a couple of things that still annoy me.

For instance, why oh why do they keep moving the holes on greens?

And couldn’t they just leave them in the same place for more than a week to give those battlers among us half a fighting chance.

The game also has its moments, as most golfers will agree, losing balls in the wild and the curse of clipping the top of the ball instead of slamming it off with a delicious thwack towards its intended destination.

But then all is forgotten as you go forward to the next challenge.

For my buddy and me, we are not what you would call absolute sticklers for the nitty gritty except, of course, for scoring.