Fatherhood in action
Adam Clarke – father of four, business partner, and husband – is challenging the “traditional” views of fatherhood.
There’s no one-size-fits-all method to family and working life. With the rise of entrepreneurship and different ways of working, many families have moved away from the traditional model of mum at home and dad at work, and are finding solutions that work for their individual situations.
Adam and Nikki Clarke are a husband-and-wife team who found a solution to bring work-life balance to their busy family of six. Their four children are all under the age of six, and the pair founded the maternity activewear brand
Cadenshae in 2015, just days after their second child was born. These days, Adam is the primary caregiver of their four children, and Nikki keeps Cadenshae running smoothly.
“I’m definitely one of those dads who has taken on a more hands-on role. I dabble in the business, but Nikki is the face of it, so I do the majority with the kids,” Adam explains.
He says when he first took over from Nikki to become the primary caregiver, he would get jokes from people about being home with the kids, but he says that’s changed now.
“I think fathers are taking on more of a hands-on role these days, but back in the day there were definitely mothers doing all the work and getting up at all hours of the night, while fathers would get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, then repeat. I think there’s definitely a movement away from this.
“For us, it wasn’t really a plan as such, we just went for it. I don’t know much about bras, so it just made sense. Nikki’s the brains of the [of the business], so it was more, you work on this idea and I’ll look after the kids,” Adam says.
Adam also hopes that his experience as a primary caregiver to his children helps to change views on fatherhood.
“I think it comes down to wanting to be a good father to my kids. Wanting them to have the best memories of me, knowing that I was always there. On the weekends I don’t choose drinking with friends, hunting or fishing
— I choose them. My wife and I both chose to have a family, so it’s up to both of us to raise our family. Plus when our kids are grown and move on, I’m still keen on having a wife that loves me not resents me,” Adam explains.
A typical day in the Clarke household starts with Adam waking up at 5am for his “power hour” workout.
“I like to get up before the kids, get a workout in and get their breakfast ready. If I get up at the same time, then we’re all grumpy.”
The family will eat breakfast, lunches would have been made the night before, and then Adam “chucks them in the car” to drop Caden Shae (6) off to school, Ryan (4) and Kace (3) at kindy, and little Jackson (18 months) will stay with Adam when he heads off to work for the rest of the day.
“At 2pm, [Jackson and I] will head off to pick everyone up, and then the rest of the day is chaos. So it’s a full-on process.”
Weekends are family time, with the Clarkes spending lots of time at the beach and in parks, there’s no hanging around home.
According to Adam, the best thing about his role is seeing them learn little things.
“They learn things from me (hopefully not my foul language), but they’re really well-behaved and polite kids. When I go grocery shopping I take them all with me. It’s part of life, I can’t leave them behind, so they just fit into what I’m doing and my lifestyle. I see bits of me and bits of their mum [in them], and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.”
“My wife and I both chose to have a family, so it’s up to both of us to raise our family.”