How to change from be­ing fear­ful into fully func­tion­ing

Great Health Guide - - CONTENTS - Ed­wina Pet­ti­ford

The dif­fer­ent states of minds are fear, func­tion­ing and free­dom and I have experienced life in all three states at one time or an­other. These re­ally are states of mind from which we per­ceive the world and the things that hap­pen around us. In this ar­ti­cle, I will dis­cuss liv­ing in the state of fear and pro­vide some use­ful tips on how to move from Fear into the Func­tion­ing State.

Af­ter hav­ing my first child, I had be­come over­weight and unhappy with how I looked and started to with­draw from the out­side world. Ven­tur­ing out to so­cialise had be­come dif­fi­cult as I was em­bar­rassed about how I looked. This made me feel trapped and des­per­ate and I was ob­sess­ing about what other people thought of me. Most of the time I would cre­ate this lu­di­crous story in my head about what other people were saying about me. When in reality the people I was ob­sess­ing over prob­a­bly weren’t even think­ing about me at all.

Nearly ev­ery de­ci­sion I made was dif­fi­cult. Not be­cause I didn’t know what I wanted but be­cause I was wor­ried about what other people would think or say. I re­mem­ber think­ing so many times, ‘Oh I can’t do that, what will people think’. So I con­tin­ued, unhappy with where life was tak­ing me all be­cause I was fear­ful. I re­mem­ber very clearly the day that I knew I had to change. The ex­act mo­ment sticks in my mind and I re­mem­ber think­ing to my­self, ‘I’m not go­ing to look and feel like this any­more.’ To start with, I had no idea what I needed to do or how I was go­ing to make a change but I knew I had to do some­thing dif­fer­ent. The out­come that I wanted was clear – I didn’t want to be fear­ful or wor­ried any­more but I didn’t know how I was go­ing to get there.

In­stead of be­com­ing over­whelmed and dis­ap­pointed about not know­ing what to do I told my­self that I had to change one thing. Noth­ing was go­ing to change if I didn’t change some­thing. The next day I put on my jog­gers, put my baby in the pram and walked around the block. Look­ing back, this one thing was so sim­ple and easy. But this one ac­tion turned out to be what started the change in my life.

I didn’t know yet what else I was go­ing to do to make my­self feel bet­ter but I had re­alised that if I wanted to change from be­ing fear­ful to func­tion­ing I would need to keep tak­ing dif­fer­ent ac­tions. Ev­ery day, I put on my jog­gers and walked. As the days went by, I found this walk­ing time cleared my head and gave me time to think. Get­ting out of the house and into the sunshine even started to im­prove my mood. People waved, I waved back. People said, ‘Hi’ as we walked past and I said, ‘Hi’ back. I was start­ing to be­come so­cia­ble again with­out be­ing stressed and anx­ious.



If you’re feel like you’re trapped and alone and liv­ing in a state of fear and worry, I would en­cour­age you to change just one sim­ple thing. If you’re not ex­er­cis­ing put your shoes on and step out­side. You may al­ready be walk­ing or ex­er­cis­ing and that is fan­tas­tic, so in that case change some­thing else. Maybe you don’t get out and so­cialise as much as you’d like to. In that sit­u­a­tion, you could call a friend and meet up for cof­fee or reach out to a women’s group and get in­volved

To over­come your fears, start by tak­ing a new and dif­fer­ent ac­tion. Just by tak­ing the first small step out­side of your com­fort zone, this can lead to big changes.

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