How to im­prove your sex­ual re­la­tion­ship with your part­ner

Great Health Guide - - CONTENTS - Dr Matthew An­der­son

Over the last 40 years I have asked over 2000 women clients this ques­tion:

Why don’t you want to have sex with your hus­band?

They have shared many rea­sons but those rea­sons ALL fall into two sim­ple and dis­tinct cat­e­gories. I have de­cided to share the rea­sons in the hope my men and women read­ers will pay at­ten­tion, make a few changes and be hap­pier.

Fem­i­nine is al­ways at­tracted to mas­cu­line:

Ev­ery in­ti­mate, lov­ing re­la­tion­ship, whether straight or gay, has a mas­cu­line and a fem­i­nine. It seems that this is a Law of Re­la­tion­ships and can­not be avoided. In het­ero­sex­ual cou­ples, gen­er­ally the man dis­plays the mas­cu­line en­ergy and the wo­man the fem­i­nine. Gay cou­ples al­ways have one part­ner who is more mas­cu­line and the other more fem­i­nine. Whether straight or gay, the fem­i­nine is at­tracted to the mas­cu­line and vice versa. When an im­bal­ance oc­curs, dys­func­tion fol­lows. If, for ex­am­ple, a wo­man dis­plays too lit­tle fem­i­nine en­ergy for her man, he loses in­ter­est. When a man dis­plays too lit­tle mas­cu­line en­ergy for his wo­man, she loses in­ter­est.

What fol­lows are rea­sons or ex­am­ples of things that men do or don’t do, which cause loss of sex­ual in­ter­est by their part­ners. Most, if not all, can be con­nected to two ba­sic rea­sons, too lit­tle mas­cu­line en­ergy and be­hav­ior or too much childishness.

Rea­son 1: You don’t act like a man: What do I mean by ‘you don’t act like a man’? I mean your wo­man, the one you want to be sex­u­ally at­tracted to you, sees your be­hav­ior and your at­ti­tudes. She thinks you are too wimpy, too neu­rotic, too care­ful, not as­sertive enough, too much of a whiner, not pro­tec­tive of her, don’t take the lead enough, too of­ten anx­ious and in­de­ci­sive, bor­ing,


run away from con­flict, too pas­sive, lack pas­sion, lack self-re­spect, too much of a nice guy when you need to be tough, avoid deal­ing with dif­fi­cult peo­ple and sit­u­a­tions and don’t take risks.

No­tice, I did not say, you don’t make enough money or are not is great shape. Th­ese may be a fac­tor in ex­treme cir­cum­stances but they are not in the top 20 rea­sons why she does not re­spond to you.

Yes, we are in an age that en­cour­ages men to be more sen­si­tive, vul­ner­a­ble and feel­ing aware. Those qual­i­ties may make her like or even love you but they will not make you at­trac­tive. Your wo­man wants a man, a real man and not a wimp. I know this is hard to hear but you want to at­tract her to you. If you want her to be ex­cited about you, get turned on and ready to be the best lover you ever had, you need to read the list above and face the facts. DO NOT, DO NOT, be­come de­fen­sive and start list­ing the ways you are not, the way she thinks you are. Be­ing de­fen­sive is an­other guar­an­teed way to not make you at­trac­tive to her.

So here is an even harder ques­tion: Are you man enough to face the truth about your level of man­li­ness and make pos­i­tive changes? If you are and if you want more sex, pay at­ten­tion and make some manly de­ci­sions. It takes courage.

It takes real courage to face one’s in­ad­e­qua­cies, es­pe­cially as it re­lates to be­ing a man and do some­thing pos­i­tive about them. Re­mem­ber, courage is a big turn on for your wo­man.

Rea­son 2: You don’t act like an adult, con­tin­ues in the fol­low­ing is­sue of Great Health Guide TM mag­a­zine, June 2017.

Rev­erend Matthew An­der­son has a Doc­tor of Min­istry spe­cial­is­ing in coun­selling and has ex­ten­sive train­ing and ex­pe­ri­ence in Gestalt and Jun­gian Psy­chol­ogy. He has helped many cou­ples and sin­gles suc­cess­fully nav­i­gate re­la­tion­ship is­sues. He has a best-sell­ing book, The Res­ur­rec­tion of Ro­mance. Matthew may be con­tacted through his web­site.

Th­ese two ba­sic rea­sons ap­ply to over 95% of men.

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