KEEPING PASSION IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP

Be mindful of your positive thoughts towards your partner

The overwhelming stresses and demands of life can sometimes leave us feeling as though we are just surviving each day. So, the idea of keeping passion in a long-term relationship alive and well can feel like just another chore to check off the list. We all know that if our relationship is not going well, it can have a ripple effect in many areas of our lives, which can lead to more stress and more demands. Sounds like a vicious cycle; but there is hope. Here are some helpful tips and strategies that are based in the latest scientific research and designed to help lay the foundation for a keeping passion in a long-term relationship.

1. THE POWER OF OUR THOUGHTS.

Be mindful of what your thoughts are saying about you, your partner and your relationship. By being mindful in your relationship, you can set the tone for a happy and healthy relationship where romance and passion can flourish more naturally. One simple step towards mindfulness is to notice how you think about your partner and then how you speak to them and about them.

2. THE 5:1 RATIO OF POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE INTERACTIONS.

Researchers have found that the ratio of positive to negative exchanges in happy couples is five to one. That means that there are five times as many positive interactions as there are negative ones. Couples tend to fall into a pattern of negative thoughts about each another without being conscious of it and then wonder why they feel distant and indifferent towards their partner. When you intentionally think positively about your partner, you actually create new neural pathways in your brain, which can subsequently change the way you feel about him. Sounds simple, but it is true; change the way you think about him and it will begin to change the way you feel and behave towards him.

By being mindful in your relationship, you can set the tone for a happy & healthy relationship.

3. START FROM A POSITIVE PLACE IN YOUR MIND.

This is not to say that you ignore things that need to be addressed, but when you start from a positive place in your mind, it will often lead to a more positive way of interacting with him. Researchers have found that happy couples begin their interactions with the intention of finding a solution to a problem. On the other hand, they have found that unhappy couples begin addressing an issue with a negative interaction, such as criticism. Negative thoughts happen in the subconscious part of the brain but when you intentionally become mindful of your thoughts and notice what you’re thinking, you bring the thoughts to the conscious mind where you can make a choice about what you want to do with the thought and the subsequent behaviour. So, begin moving towards a more passionate and fulfilling relationship today, spend some time each day choosing to think kind and generous thoughts about your partner. Remember keeping passion in a long-term relationship, works best if you have at least five positive thoughts to each negative one, then you will notice that it changes the way you feel about him.

Merie Burton is a registered psychotherapist and counsellor and works with individuals, couples and young people in her own counselling practice. Merie runs regular workshops on stress, anxiety, mindfulness and relationships at different locations throughout Brisbane and the Gold Coast. Contact Merie via her website.