One more thing

Ap­ple opin­ion

Mac Format - - CONTENTS - Free­lance writer Gary Mar­shall is good at many things. Per­haps poetry is not one of those things.

The new iMac – “now in colos­sal and ginormous”, Ap­ple says – is the kind of com­puter you can’t look at if you value your bank bal­ance: one glance at its su­perb screen makes ev­ery other one look like it was made in Minecraft. Its specs are pretty im­pres­sive too, and you can con­fig­ure it to make a truly mon­strous Mac. There’s just one teeny-weeny prob­lem with it: it costs a for­tune, and for many of us it’s a for­tune we can’t really jus­tify when our ex­ist­ing Macs cope just fine with El Cap­i­tan. Do you find that hard to re­mem­ber when you’re brows­ing ap­ple.com? Me too – which is why I’ve turned to poetry in the style of Green Eggs and Ham. I’m so very sorry.

The new iMac!

The new iMac!

I do not need the new iMac.

Do you need the new iMac?

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack

I do not need the new iMac.

I do not need its chic dis­play its Retina 4 or 5K I do not need the new iMac

I do not like its Magic Mouse

I do not need it in my house

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

The new iMac is not for me

My USB kit’s two, not three

I do not need the new iMac.

I do not want a hard disk drive The SSDs are priced too high

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

I do not need its Core i5 when my old Mac has one in­side

I do not need the new iMac

My old Mac is good enough

It never quite runs out of puff

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

The new iMac is good, I know

A 5K screen for Logic Pro!

I do not need the new iMac.

My kids should not go with­out din­ner for a Mac that’s very slightly thin­ner

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

I do not need four gi­ga­hertz when writ­ing’s what I do for work

I do not need the new iMac

I do not need GDDR5

I do not want a Fu­sion Drive

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

I do not need wire­less AC when all my stuff is N, or G

I do not need the new iMac

I do not need its faster ports, the stan­dards that it now sup­ports

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

My wife would never understand the need for all those gigs of RAM

I do not need the new iMac

If I put it on our credit card she’d kick me in the dan­glies, hard

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

I can’t go near an Ap­ple Store temp­ta­tion lives be­hind that door

I do not need the new iMac

And deep, deep down

I must say “no!”

I’d rather have a MacBook Pro!

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

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