One more thing

Apple opinion

The new iMac – “now in colossal and ginormous”, Apple says – is the kind of computer you can’t look at if you value your bank balance: one glance at its superb screen makes every other one look like it was made in Minecraft. Its specs are pretty impressive too, and you can configure it to make a truly monstrous Mac. There’s just one teeny-weeny problem with it: it costs a fortune, and for many of us it’s a fortune we can’t really justify when our existing Macs cope just fine with El Capitan. Do you find that hard to remember when you’re browsing apple.com? Me too – which is why I’ve turned to poetry in the style of Green Eggs and Ham. I’m so very sorry.

The new iMac!

The new iMac!

I do not need the new iMac.

Do you need the new iMac?

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack

I do not need the new iMac.

I do not need its chic display its Retina 4 or 5K I do not need the new iMac

I do not like its Magic Mouse

I do not need it in my house

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

The new iMac is not for me

My USB kit’s two, not three

I do not need the new iMac.

I do not want a hard disk drive The SSDs are priced too high

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

I do not need its Core i5 when my old Mac has one inside

I do not need the new iMac

My old Mac is good enough

It never quite runs out of puff

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

The new iMac is good, I know

A 5K screen for Logic Pro!

I do not need the new iMac.

My kids should not go without dinner for a Mac that’s very slightly thinner

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

I do not need four gigahertz when writing’s what I do for work

I do not need the new iMac

I do not need GDDR5

I do not want a Fusion Drive

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

I do not need wireless AC when all my stuff is N, or G

I do not need the new iMac

I do not need its faster ports, the standards that it now supports

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which

I sorely lack.

My wife would never understand the need for all those gigs of RAM

I do not need the new iMac

If I put it on our credit card she’d kick me in the danglies, hard

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.

I can’t go near an Apple Store temptation lives behind that door

I do not need the new iMac

And deep, deep down

I must say “no!”

I’d rather have a MacBook Pro!

I do not need the new iMac, the funds for which I sorely lack.