Milkmaid of the Milky Way
We’ve got no time for needless rhyme
Old-school point-and-click adventures often didn’t make much sense – combine the kitten with the doorknob to make moonshine, or whatever – but Milkmaid of the Milky Way does it in a way that grates more than usual.
For starters, Milkmaid is written entirely in verse, and it’s terrible. The meter changes all the time, and the rhymes often feel forced, like “this put me in a squeeze. What about my mountain cheese?” It’s just unnecessary, feels gimmicky, and distracts from the game – there’s quite an interesting plot behind all the bad rhymes.
It’s also pretty tedious to play, with the character having to run across several different screens to get to where she needs to go, which isn’t helped by the fact that the items you need to pick up are often hard to see, and the things you need to do with those items are even more obtuse. At one point you need to put logs on a mountain to dry. How are you supposed to know that?
There are some redeeming qualities – the style, though minimalistic, is nicely done in places, and the way the plot twists early on is a surprise. For fans of Lucasarts point-and-click games, there’s a tingle of nostalgia that may override the tedium. However, largely, Milkmaid of the Milky Way is a bit of a milk dud. It’s a shame that the game’s qualities couldn’t save it from grating writing and overly difficult puzzle solutions.
the bottom line. Attempts to replicate classic point-and-clicks, but falls short of the mark.