CHARLES WOOLEY

D ear Rebecca, Cassy and Will, if you haven’t already chosen your team for Denison please consider me in contention.

I write to you collectively because it saves on postage and besides I have no particular ideological allegiances and nor do you. Ideology is so last century and most politicians I meet don’t have any commitment beyond self-interest and getting re-elected. In that sense I will do my best to fit in. It’s bad enough I have to take a pay cut to sit in the parliament but I certainly don’t want to languish uselessly in opposition. I’ve spoken with my friend and mentor Graham Richardson and am prepared to do ‘whatever it takes’ to help my fellow Tasmanians while helping myself at the same time. Please relax and don’t think of me as a dangerous idealist. I promise to be just like you.

I’m not a quitter. I will never leave politics ‘to spend more time with my family’. I see quite enough of them and them of me. Nor will I leave for the many and varied reasons that others have. OK, I am a bit dull in that respect compared with some. But on the plus side I’m not bad with words (which might or might not be an asset in the chamber) and am at ease with most forms of media. I know everyone in River City and I don’t scare easily.

Of course I am a conservationist. Who in their right mind here wouldn’t be? I guess I am a Conservative Conservationist. I am patriotic about Australian landscapes and biota and hate to see the place trashed. Consider me a redneck greenie. I like to kill things in the wild and eat them. These days I restrict myself to trout though I am contemplating rabbits. Thirty thousand Tasmanians trout fish and are mad as hell about the degraded fishery. I fully expect to land most of their votes in Denison. I would save their beloved Bronte Lagoon from the bizarre predations of a handful of freeloading mainland kayakers and their Hydro mates. If you think this is cryptic don’t worry. Thirty thousand Tasmanian fishermen know exactly what I mean and they vote.

I’m not happy about the cable car. It seems like the decline of Rome with bread and circuses for the masses. It isn’t a dealbreaker though, but the Fragrance Tower certainly is and I will be occupying the building site in protest alongside my friend Simon Currant. I’m not happy about salmon farms on the East Coast. I know we need jobs but I’ve seen large-scale salmon farms overseas and hardly anyone works on them.

Even fish processing is becoming robotic. There may be a quick quid to be made now but at what long-term cost? A lot of Denison friends have East Coast holiday homes (hardly shacks) and they vote.

I worry about the enthusiasm for selling our state to China. While it’s nice to take the money and run, we should remember that China is a communist dictatorship. They have raised a billion people from abject poverty but they tolerate no dissent. They don’t operate the way we do. Mr Xi didn’t come down here for pinot noir and cheese; you go to France for that. The Chinese regime doesn’t have to face re-election and can plan long-term. China needs port facilities for the year 2048 when the Antarctic Treaty expires and mining can start on the frozen continent. Wouldn’t it be nice Will, Bec and Cassy if you folk could be so far-sighted but hey, isn’t myopia the price of freedom? In the medium-term let’s hedge the great Tasmanian clearance sale to include some democratic nations such as India and Indonesia.

My greatest concern is not with ugly developments, scars on the mountain or fish crapping in Okehampton Bay, but with a problem not so visible but which contributes to all others. Australian Bureau of Statistics figures indicate that half our adult population is ‘functionally illiterate’. This is a huge handicap. If people can’t read or write they are prey to all kinds of spin, fake news and misinformation. I am sure you leaders would never take advantage of these folk, but if we can’t raise them up they are forever doomed to poverty and under achievement.

I will happily accept the poisoned chalice of the education portfolio. In the spirit of The Don let me say this: “I can fix it. I can drain the educational swamp, but I won’t be leaving it to the bureaucrats in Education. They are part of the problem and not part of the solution. I know what needs to be done and I have the people to do it. Let’s make school great again.”

My editor tells me 50,000 people read this column and of course more watch 60 Minutes. So Will, Bec, Cassy, we can speak if you are interested. If not, a plague on all your houses and I will happily continue to snipe from the sidelines where journalists properly belong.