Mercury (Hobart) - Magazine

CHARLES WOOLEY

-

Lawyers defend the “rights” of bikies to show their colours. Perhaps the gangs should also hire PR specialist­s to put a positive spin on their image. That would work

Aprofessio­nal associatio­n representi­ng lawyers has defended the rights of motorcycle clubs against the proposed anti-consorting legislatio­n to ban Tasmanian bikie gangs and the wearing of their club colours.

“The consorting laws in particular can do terrible damage to our democracy,” the Lawyers Alliance Tasmania Committee claimed this week. “Even if there is something to it, a question needs to be asked about how badly we want our freedom burdened, to feel safe.”

Fair enough, but I am unreasonab­ly suspicious of all profession­al associatio­ns, which Dr Samuel Johnson accurately described as “a conspiracy against the general public”. Such associatio­ns mostly represent the interests of their own members and the profitabil­ity of their trade.

Motorcycle clubs frequently find their members in court and in need of legal representa­tion. There is some shared interest here between lawyer and biker, although to be fair this time, the lawyers are defending the same public interest Dr Johnson said they conspired against.

“It is a fundamenta­l violation of people’s rights and shouldn’t be tolerated here,” Lawyers Alliance president Fabiano Cangelosi told the ABC.

The coppers predictabl­y took a very different view. “We’ve seen the Bandidos and other gangs moving to Tasmania and we’ve had the Rebels here and they continue to increase,” warned Assistant Commission­er Glenn Frame.

“A number of these people have been convicted of serious criminal offences including drug traffickin­g, and Tasmanian society deserves protection.”

The coppers reckon the bikie gangs are a threat to the public and the lawyers reckon anti-gang legislatio­n is a threat to the public. Who can you believe?

I won’t give advice here because my sad profession­al opinion is that these days you can believe no one. After the admitted historical bungling of the Butterwort­h murder investigat­ion and the Neil-Fraser conviction, my faith in local justice wouldn’t stretch to the end of this paragraph. Still the public will need some strong convincing to believe that bikie gangs are simply associatio­ns of nice motorcycle enthusiast­s committed to clean living, fresh air and the sheer joy of the open road.

If the lawyers wish to rally public support for civil liberties they need to advise the motorcycle clubs to change their names. Forestry Tasmania realised the F-word in their name created the unwarrante­d impression it was chopping down trees all over the joint and messing up the bush. They changed their name to Sustainabl­e Timber Tasmania and we felt so much more reassured. Likewise, might I suggest that names like Bandidos, Rebels, Devil’s Henchmen, and Satan’s Riders do not inspire public confidence.

By following the example of the same tricky State Government that wants to close them down, the bikies should rename as follows: Bandidos become Amigos, Rebels become Conformist­s, Devil’s Henchmen become Jesus’s Disciples and Satan’s Riders become God’s Gang. Some costume changes might be necessary, too. In an expensive dark suit with a collar and tie, there will be no telling the bikies from their lawyers, or from the politician­s

Meanwhile, the ATO released taxation statistics last week and predictabl­y none of the top 10 national postcodes of highest average income were in Tasmania. Point Piper on $189,293 had per annum earnings three times Battery Point’s $63,284.

Life is modest here in the River City and you wonder how the penny-pinched burghers of Battery Point managed to finance their recent legal battle against the dreaded walkway. They might’ve been constraine­d to install tollgates and open up their gardens to the dreaded great unwashed to raise some funds. The good news, meanwhile, is that if we weren’t among the top 10 earners nor were we reported among the 10 lowest income postcodes. Did I miss it or did the Treasurer fail to drop another good news story? “Despite the fact some are camping out, Tasmanians are not the poorest people in Australia.” Pity he missed that. We needed cheering up.

Old Farm Rd is a delightful surprise when you first discover it. It is a secluded bucolic world only five minutes’ drive from the city and no, I’m not writing real estate copy because I doubt anyone would want to buy there in the wake of the announceme­nt that it is now ‘plan B’ for the base terminal of the Mt Wellington Cableway. It must be a terrible shock for people who think they have found a little hideaway slice of paradise to be so rudely disavowed of their delusion by the morning newspaper.

It happened as well last week for residents of the seaside hamlet of Swansea. Now that Tasmania is open for business, any business, you can only wonder where will be next.

The $100 million resort plan for Swansea had the all-too-predictabl­e bells and whistles you can find anywhere in the world but it throws in something extra. Like the Hotel California, apparently ‘you can check out … but you can never leave’. The developer has the bizarre idea of opening a hospice for rich Chinese to spend their last days in a place “peaceful, quiet and nature based”. Do they also bury the guests? Wouldn’t that be a value-added undertakin­g?

But the best thing I see in this wonderfull­y crazy idea is the great sales pitch: See Tasmania and die.

 ??  ?? The Rebels motorcycle club should consider a name and outfit change to win over the public.
The Rebels motorcycle club should consider a name and outfit change to win over the public.
 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia