Marriage law change would lift weight from many shoulders
Relationships Australia has unique insight into impact of legislation,
RELATIONSHIPS Australia is a networked federation of nine organisations who work right across Australia with almost 70 years’ experience in the relationships game.
We know people, and we know the value of positive, respectful, healthy and meaningful relationships of all types. We stake our reputation on it.
Relationships Australia provides counselling, psychosocial support, family support, dispute resolution, mental health services, suicide prevention programs, couples counselling and education and other human and support services.
This is done by more than 2000 professional staff in 118 centres and many more outreach locations around the country. We see on average 185,000 clients annually, and many of these are same-sex attracted people and members of their families, or people who identify in the LGBTIQ communities.
This means we see daily in the LGBTIQ people we work with a full range of deep, complex meaningful relationships, just as powerful and fulfilling as the relationships we work with in heterosexual couples. Couples come to us for counselling, individuals for emotional support or therapy, couples with children who separate come for child inclusive mediation. And it is because of this deep knowledge of these couples and the discrimination they face in the community that we believe same-sex attracted people must be afforded the same right to the commitment of marriage that others enjoy.
Our counselling rooms echo with the heart-rending stories of the strain on people’s lives — people whose mental health has been damaged by discrimination, by misunderstanding, by overt harassment, and whose relationships have been negatively impacted by it. People who, by their very sexuality, have fewer rights than others in this country.
Imagine what it feels like to attend the weddings of your own siblings, colleagues and friends, knowing that in this country you can’t celebrate and be celebrated in the same way with the same group of people, all of whom would joyously join in such a celebration. It is another layer of pressure and emotional toil. Making same-sex marriage available would, in a single respectful, equal decision, take away a major hurdle from same-sex attracted people being able to enjoy a life free of unnecessary stress.
LGBTIQ people are not the ‘other’. They are ourselves, our children, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, our friends, sporting coaches, doctors, nurses, parliamentarians, our counsellors — our fellow Australians.
As an organisation working with people from all walks of life, we support marriage equality. We absolutely believe the right to marriage should be available to all adults in a society that respects and upholds the rights and
dignity of all of its members.
Recent research demonstrates clearly that marriage equality is vitally important to the physical and mental wellbeing of same-sex attracted people, which is why we joined The Equality Campaign — to spread the message that marriage discrimination is harmful to the health of LGBTIQ people and their families.
Medical professionals have again strongly condemned calls for conversion therapy to be considered for young people trying to work it out.
At Relationships Australia we have seen many changes to the Marriage Act, to the Family Law Act and to the nature of relationships.
We know this simple, but powerful change will not adversely affect our community, but rather strengthen and unite it.
My personal experience is that I married my own male partner of 17 years in New Zealand in 2015. We did this because we became impatient with the slowness of change in Australia and wanted to celebrate our ongoing commitment to each other in front of family and friends as witnesses. My partner’s father became unwell unexpectedly and was unable to travel. He missed the wedding. Not because he wanted to. The rest of our closest family and friends were there with us on that day, and it was a joyous celebration, recognised legally in that and many other countries.
Had our marriage been equal in Australia at that time, my partner’s father would have seen his second son legally married. This did not happen before he passed away.
This issue is personal and emotional for so many of us, and for so many Australians.
That is why if you really believe that all people are equal, that LGBTIQ people should be accepted and not just tolerated, then vote yes to marriage equality and stand with us for genuine acceptance, and greater happiness for so many Australians and their families. Mathew Rowell is the chief executive of Relationships Australia Tasmania, a board member of Relationships Australia National and president of the Tasmanian Council of Social Service.