Shootout in wild west no sure bet

THE Ashes is over, apparently, going into the third Test at the WACA because Australia just win there.

And England has not saluted in the wild west for 30 years, a fact rubbed into the training tourists on an electronic scoreboard that listed their litany of Ashes failures at the ground.

But the fait accompli the bookies have determined — the Aussies are $1.50 favourites with the TAB, England $4.75 — becomes less so when recent results come in to clearer focus

The Aussies have lost two of the past four Tests in Perth, both to South Africa. Eight of the Aussie XI played in last summer’s defeat too, including the Marsh brothers.

The year before the home side could only manage a draw against New Zealand when the two teams combined for 1183 first innings runs on a pitch curator Matt Page said he had “nightmares about.”

This year’s wicket is a little better, but Page conceded it still may not have the zip the home team’s attack lusts for to get the result they want.

In the good ol’ days the fast, bouncy WACA wicket, which ripped white as the Perth sun baked it hard, left the home quicks licking their lips, charging in that little bit faster, and sending the red Kookaburra sailing to the keeper just this side of the boundary rope.

It is not exactly the case now, the WACA has become less intimidating, even though the Aussie pace attack is fearsome, and has its tail right up against a touring outfit struggling to avoid controversy as much as the short stuff from the bowlers.

“There’s always pressure here to see pace and bounce. We’ve been trying to put the pieces of the jigsaw together,” Page said yesterday.

“And being the Test is in December this time around, we would expect a little bit more pace in it.” Fingers crossed. English quick Jimmy Anderson knows it can be hard work if the ball does not swing, but questions the strip’s nature.

“The bounce can be built up too much. It is not as excessive as people believe,” Anderson wrote in the Telegraph.

“Bowling here all depends on whether it swings. If it doesn’t swing it can be an unbelievable place to bat. But if it is swinging you want batsmen driving because the nicks will carry.”

Former Aussie opener Matthew Hayden was the beneficiary of one of the flat WACA decks in 2003 churning out 380, out of a total of 735, against Zimbabwe.

The wicket was so lifeless even the tourists made 560, albeit in two digs.

Hayden is concerned about what looms if the wicket has a close shave from Page.

“If that grass goes — because the groundsmen decide to cut it off — the pitch will be an absolute road,” he wrote for news.com.au.

“I’m not saying prepare an absolutely raging green seamer, but let’s leave the grass on and leave it as a bat-versus-ball contest.”

It will not be much of a contest if the advice of former pace ace Mitchell Johnson, who scared the pants off England in 2013, given to Aussie fast bowling cartel this week works.

“Bowl fast and keep bowling short,” quick Josh Hazlewood said was part of the advice.

“And stay on top of them, as we have been.”

Maybe if the mower stays in the shed.

But if the top grass gets lopped off the west may be more welcoming than wild and that runaway Aussie win anything but locked and loaded.