Captain Hurricane not the only one who’s missing

THERE were two notable omissions from game one of the Hurricanes’ home season — half the crowd, and Captain Hurricane

The one thing the Hurricanes have always had is the support of the local community. And with the anticipation of the new season building to fever pitch across the country, why did Hobart stump up its lowest crowd in recent memory?

Now that the Launcestonians and beyond have their own fixture, are they no longer travelling down the road to get their professional cricket fix? Some 9000 of them? Seems unlikely. Mind you, it takes only one family from the North of the state to decide not to travel, and there is your 9000 lost.

Maybe the answer sits in the name of redevelopment and long-time compensation? Some 9000 tickets. That’s what was the initial quote way back when. And with that deal being reneged on, some locals felt so strongly about their plight that they agreed to put their social reputations on the line to pose as a boy-band on the front page of this very paper.

As an aside: gee some people are precious — NO, not you Lindisfarne — why wouldn’t you want the darkness of the night invaded by enough ultraviolet light to get both a tan and produce plants for medicinal purposes?

No commercial smarts from the local residents that fill the radius of the recently reneged light based compensatory tick- et collection scheme. Earlier this year, Tassal joined the Hurricanes as the sole beneficiaries of the deluxe menu, and handcrafted timber seating, on offer with the chairman on game days.

Maybe those opposing Tassal’s own invasion into Okehampton Bay protested by way of their feet? And if so, did anyone check the trees that look into Bellerive Oval or the main gate? Protesters typically love these types of spots.

In a Twitter poll, conducted in early October, the public voted that the most suitable team name for the newly created relationship between Tassal and the Hurricanes would be: The Okehampton Bay Salmon Pirates.

Damn, the public is nasty, but it’s also a sign there aren’t enough environmental warriors to create a 9000-person hole.

But it’s the connection between the Pirates of Okehampton Bay and Captain Hurricane that is of most concern.

The whereabouts of Captain Hurricane are unknown.

Has the captain been abducted? Are the pirates responsible? Are the pirates planning a takeover? Has the poll created a monster with the name change to The Okehampton Bay Salmon Pirates an irresistible move?

Clue No. 1: There is a pirate ship anchored at Bellerive Oval.

Yes, it’s inflatable, but where are the pirates? And perhaps more importantly, what possible connection does a pirate ship have with a Hurricane? All the reading I found suggests that there were very few hurricanes experienced during the golden age of piracy. And the plan if facing one was to hang on for dear life without losing too many men.

Clue No. 2: It seems the Pirate v Hurricane game plan — of hanging on for dear life — was on display during the purple team’s batting innings: too much survival, not enough bravery.

Clue No. 3: Captain Hurricane has disappeared.

RIP Captain Hurricane. You were a fine soldier, respected by the kiddies and with a large enough head to be the target of many a Malteser thrown from the top row of the David Boon Stand — which is now sold as upgraded seating and another on the list of “reasons why the crowd was down”.