Will or Bill … it’s a ball-up
WILL Hodgman’s phone rings and rather than the traditional bring bring, bring bring through the ear piece, the theme song to the Benny Hill Show plays. Strange start.
Receptionist: “Will Hodgman’s office, how may I help you?”
Tasmanian public: “Hi, Tasmanian football community here. Like Bonnie Tyler, we are looking for a hero. Someone to deliver us that MAP dream of our own stand-alone team. Anyone there that can help us?”
Receptionist: “Sure, I’ll put you through to Premier Will Hodgman’s direct line, he is by far the most likely hero in this situation. He’s not only Premier and man of the people, he’s also the Minister for Sport and Recreation plus Hospitality and Tourism! Will is definitely your man. Just hold while I put you through.’’
Tasmanian public: Waiting, waiting, Benny Hill music plays in the ear piece throughout all of day 1, and day 2 — this is fast becoming like an Adelaide Football Club summer camp — day 3 they wait, day 4 is a haze and then out of nowhere, someone picks up the phone.
The voice of our hero, finally: “Bill Shorten speaking.”
Yes, Bill Shorten. A man cashing cheques, and promises, that he doesn’t even have control over.
Premier, Minister for Sport and all things linked to the benefits of our MAP dream, owner of every available Gazman shirt from their year- round collection dating back to 2003, this was your moment to have your legacy cast in bronze out the front of UTAS Stadium, Blundstone, Parliament House and the hearts of every Tasmanian as the first ever Premier to give the Tasmanian public something they wanted.
The Patron of the Parliamentary Friends of Football, established by the AFL to ensure effective communication between MPs and the AFL community on key matters relating to the development of football in Tasmania was formed in 2016, yet has met only four times, and not once have they discussed getting us a bloody stand-alone team in the AFL. Even more detrimental to their want of credibility is that they did not meet once while the steering committee bullied its way into leading us towards a VFL competition that will be less relevant than the TSL once the AFL Reserves becomes a thing, likely before 2021.
With all that’s happened: the online polls, the letters to the editor, the raging socialmedia debate, the support of the highest-profile AFL media heads, the offering of financial and emotional support from Bill Shorten, we, the Tasmanian football-loving public, STILL has no one with any clout representing us. Premier? Nup. Current AFL TAS CEO? Nup.
Former AFL TAS CEO? Nup.
Bill Shorten and his imaginary dream world where he is voted into leadership? Yep.
And herein lies the single biggest problem in our pursuit of that MAP dream: there is no shortage of high-profile football people providing extreme levels of lip service on our behalf. There is no shortage of opposition leaders and backbencher followers spending money they don’t have and then crowing about their contribution to the world.
Sadly, and most damaging in all of this, is that there is simply no shortage of AFL back slappers who hold the senior positions to fight on the state’s behalf — fairness, equality and acceptance — who simply are not. Shame on you, Will Hodgman, you should have picked up the phone. Any action you take on this matter will now be seen as reactionary and tokenistic — unless it results in us getting a stand-alone team in the AFL before the year 2021. Only then, will we forgive you.
Because for now: Bill Shorten is our hero — Gulp. While I’m at it: Who cares about anything else. It is a complete nonsense that our “elected” leaders just stand by and allow the AFL to treat us like this. Mind you, if we were being served crayfish and a perfectly complementing wine from the Coal River Valley as we watched every AFL fixture in Tasmania from our ergonomically crafted Huon pine throne, we too might struggle to end the door-mat relationship with the AFL to the benefit of everyone but us and our addiction to the smell of varnish.
Shame on you, Will Hodgman, you should have picked up the phone. Any action you take on this matter will now be seen as reactionary and tokenistic — unless it results in us getting a stand-alone team in the AFL before the year 2021.