Special joy in watching foster children delight in the world

IF you think the ABC television drama The Slap was controversial, a series which explores what happens when a man slaps a child not related to him, try looking after other people’s children on behalf of the state of Tasmania!

Foster care is when someone, who starts out as a stranger, takes a child or children into their home and cares for them for days, weeks, months or even years, with the guidance and support of a foster care agency.

Foster parenting is different to looking after your own children — special rules apply and rightly so, because these children have most likely already experienced less than ideal care.

Foster children have the state as their guardian so the government is heavily invested in ensuring that children in foster care have positive and reparative experiences that help them overcome the challenges they have already faced.

I often call foster care public parenting or “fishbowl” parenting.

What you do as a foster carer is scrutinised by others, again rightly so, but you could be forgiven for asking yourself why do people do it?

I have asked lots of people this question over the years.

Many foster carers simply want to make a difference, some are seeking something meaningful to do with their time and others are natural born nurturers who just love being around children. They keep you young!

Some foster carers also want their own children to experience living with another child who is perhaps less fortunate than themselves and we do often find children whose parents fostered when they were growing up fostering as adults themselves.

Another reason to foster is that there is incredible joy in seeing these children develop, grow and reach their full potential.

I was recently taking a large group of children and their carers to the Theatre Royal to see the ballet Giselle.

I noticed the delight and joy in the eyes of some and the: “What on earth am I doing here?” look in the eyes of others, yet every single one of those kids carried themselves with poise and dignity in an unfamiliar environment and came out of that theatre knowing something more about themselves. They were amazing!

So too are the carers who care for them.

It is an incredibly selfless and commendable act and I take my hat off to all the foster carers who are out there all across Tasmania providing high-quality care to children who so desperately need it.

This week is National Foster Carer Week.

It is an opportunity to celebrate and acknowledge the amazing role that foster carers play in the lives of Tasmania’s most vulnerable children and to thank them for their efforts.

It is also an opportunity to spread the word about the need for foster carers and to promote the benefits of fostering on the foster family.

When we hear good news stories about fostering it is usually when an amazing person has won an award.

Often these go to people who have supported hundreds

A trip to the ballet is one of the many wonders, explains Caroline Brown

of foster children.

We absolutely need those people but I am often left wondering about how we laud the tireless work of the foster carers who look after one, two or three children, perhaps in a sibling group, throughout their childhood.

They provide safety and stability for children through thick and thin, they stick with them through the attempted reunifications with parents, the meltdowns when contact is cancelled, and the dramas of their first relationship breakup.

To these foster parents goes as special thank you for their incredible endurance and stick-ability and their effort to make a long-term difference to the lives of the children they care for.

I am often told: “I would like to foster but I wouldn’t be eligible.”

Sometimes people have a sense of what the eligibility criteria might be but they are often based on myths.

Let’s myth-bust a few of those.

You can foster if you are single, partnered or married, whether you are gay or straight, whether you have children or not, and whether you work or not.

Age is not a barrier (although most agencies prefer people to be 25 or over).

Basically, anyone of good character who has space in their home and space in their heart can foster, providing they meet the required standards.

All fostering agencies welcome inquiries from individuals and families from all walks of life of any background.

We particularly encourage Aboriginal people, jobseekers and empty-nesters to consider fostering.

So, this week, National Foster Carer Week, I encourage you to ask yourself, what is stopping you from fostering?

If the answer is nothing, take the next step and reach out to one of the fostering agencies.

We need you but more importantly Tasmania’s most vulnerable children need you.

My heartfelt thanks to those that already do. Caroline Brown is state director of Key Assets, which is a nongovernment, not-for-profit children’s services agency, children’s services provider and Tasmania’s only sibling group care provider.