BRETT GEEVES: IT’S NOT ALL PLANE SAILING IN INDIAN BUSINESS CLASS
FOR those who missed the news yesterday, Virat Kohli gave up his family’s business-class seats, for the lengthy Qantas flight to Perth, so his long-legged quicks could be free from all of life’s cretins who recline their economy-purchased seats fully into the neck of those behind them.
It is a sign the culture within the Indian team, the environment of the changeroom and the harmony among them as men, is greatly improved from those Indian teams, and individuals, who have selfishly chosen business class before them. Well, so my experiences suggest. My selection to the Delhi Daredevils in 2008 coincided with a commitment to cricket that provided no verbal filter and a zero tolerance on refusal of a beer. A commitment not popular among my Tasmanian team mates, so how do you reckon my new Indian chums went with it?
We were at Delhi airport waiting for the first team flight of the tournament. We were a united team, having spent the last 14 hours awake, dancing, playing Twister, drinking chardonnay and beating Rajasthan.
The team manager was handing out the boarding passes and, in a nutshell, if you had played international cricket, you had a seat in business class, and if you had not, you were in economy — which could only be described as a deodorant-free zone.
When we boarded the plane, I was in the first row of economy and my foot could reach the back of Daniel Vettori’s business-class chair. Fortunately for me, the flight was to Punjab and only 40 minutes, because I created a song that was based around the beat of me kicking the back of his chair with every intent to deliver perfect harmonies the entire journey.
My song was title “You dudes are big heads”. And I sang to that beat until I passed out.
A meeting was called. Sehwag opens the meeting: “It seems that some people [looking directly at me] have an issue with the way the seats on the plane have been allocated.” Awkward silence, then … Geeves: “No issue Viru, at home we fly economy and this is no problem for someone who is 5’11. Although, if you want a change to the current plan, and there are not enough seats for everyone in business class, then maybe we should look at the larger guys being allocated seats up front. We’ve got four quicks without international experience who stand at over 6’4 and it seems a good idea to have them not squashed out the back.”
Sehwag says sternly: “NO, IT IS NOT THE SIZE OF PLAYER, BUT SIZE OF NAME THAT COUNTS.”
OK, I’ll agree that falling off my chair in a fit of laughter and crying “Oh my god, he didn’t, did he?” was possibly a bad response.
But damn, that’s not how real people operate.
It’s why we were wrong about Virat. And why we should be concerned about an Indian team bonded by the type of harmony, leadership and love not seen by a touring Indian team before.