PLAY IN G MAJOR

Military-style blasting is the AMG G63’s forte

Wonderful extravagances make life worth living, be it a suite at the Park Hyatt Sydney, a bottle of ’59 Chateau Lafite — or a $247,700 Mercedes-AMG G63.

This absurdly indulgent box on wheels has a 4.0-litre bi-turbo V8 as its heart, pushing out 430kW of power and 850Nm of torque and an exhaust blast — exiting through twin side-exit pipes under each rear door — to rupture your internal organs.

So faithful is the G63’s design to the original 1979 G-Wagen that it still has a drag coefficient of 0.55, roughly that of a block of units.

With such terrible aerodynamics plus a weight of 2.5 tonnes, physics should dictate tardy progress. The V8 reckons otherwise.

Select Sport+ mode, hit the exhaust note button to boost decibels by 20 per cent and the big G launches from 0-100km/h in 4.5 seconds. It trumps a manual Porsche 911 Carrera.

Dynamically the G63 won’t worry its fellow German. Plant the G’s throttle and its nose lifts like a dragster’s as you wrestle the steering wheel in a mad bid to stay between the lines.

With windows down and the V8 roaring like a GT3 racer, the experience is pure theatre. Dress circle of course, thanks to salubrious Nappa leather surrounds with a sea of giant digital screens feeding you information.

I kept telling myself the whole car is an utter irrelevance but the package — power, luxury, presence and heritage — gets under your skin. It’s a drive experience like no other.

Despite this being Benz’s priciest SUV, order books are long for the hand-built G63: it’s sold out in Australia until early 2020 due to global demand. Gym owners in the US and sand dune jumpers in the Middle East got first dibs.

Low fuel prices in these markets make the G63’s running costs easier to stomach but at a claimed 13.1L/100km (we averaged 18L-plus), your weekly spend on 98 RON will hurt.

AMG versions account for 80 per cent of the just over 100 G-Class boxes sold here each year. Mercedes-Benz spokesman Jerry Stamoulis says Australia also has bid for a G350d diesel version but the G63 remains king.

“Part of the appeal is the exclusivity,” he says. “It’s difficult to fulfil the orders we have but we’ve requested more from the factory.”

Improvements across the board aim to make this military-origin vehicle more relevant to civilian life.

Weight is down by 170kg, the live front axle’s been swapped for an independent set-up and adaptive damping helps iron out some of the bumps.

The ride is fidgety over poor surfaces — put that down to the ladder frame chassis and skinny tyres on 21-inch or optional 22-inch alloys.

The G63 lacks the latest “Hey Mercedes” voice assistant but buyers score ambient lighting, 360-degree camera, AMG flat-bottom steering wheel, heated/power seats and Apple CarPlay/Android Auto.

Safety is bang up to date with nine airbags and a long active safety list. Off-road cred remains with three diff locks and ability to shift into low range at up to 40km/h.

As no owners venture off-road, neither did we. Rapid progress along the Great Ocean Road seemed more relevant, not least with the V8’s howl reverberating off rock walls.

Tyres squeal in protest and it feels as top heavy as it looks if you dare try to carry too much of its epic speed into turns. The front seats’ side bolsters tuck in as you corner to hold you in place and giant 400mm front disc brakes work their pads off to haul you to a stop rapidly.

It may be a dynamic step up over the old G63 but the safest way to savour the 430kW is in a straight line.

Despite the new bits, it’s the old school charm that makes the G63 so lovable. Proudly remaining boxy means there’s enough rear headroom for a trio of giraffes, the 1979-shaped doors need a solid shove (no S-Class soft closing here), push-button door handles are retro heaven — and the door locks sound like a rifle bolt closing.

VERDICT

Overall you’d be mad to buy one. But you’d love every minute of it.