Sisters’ promise to lost mum

TWO Hobart sisters who watched their mother suffer an agonising death are on a mission to fulfil her dying wish to get voluntary assisted dying laws introduced in Tasmania.

Diane Gray died in September last year, just days after her 58th birthday.

She had endured an 11month battle with stage four gastric cancer, having been given a terminal diagnosis in October 2018.

In the lead-up to her death, Diane’s daughters Natalie and Jacqui spent nine straight days by their mother’s side as her condition deteriorated.

They said their mother endured “a living hell” and that they felt powerless to ease her suffering.

Jacqui said her mother wanted to die on her own terms, but Tasmanian legislation prevented her from having that choice.

“She died a death that she never wanted for herself, or for us,’’ Jacqui said.

“Death is a bit of a taboo subject but it has terrified us of death.

“There is guilt that eats us up over the fact that we couldn’t help her. We had to just sit there and watch her.”

In a journal entry written days before her death, Diane wrote of the “uncontrollable pain” and “relentless nausea” she was experiencing.

“Cancer took so many of my choices away from me 11 months ago and now in the final weeks of my life I have no choice other than to accept my torturous fate,’’ she wrote.

“I can accept dying. I cannot accept dying a slow death in intolerable pain.

“This pain in itself has me wishing nothing more than to die and to end my own suffering. I want my daughters to remember me as I am and I want beautiful lasting final memories.”

Natalie said her mother wanted to die at home where she felt more comfortable, surrounded by her loved ones.

Jacqui added: “All we wanted was what our mum wanted.

“I feel it would have let her live the last few weeks fearlessly. She would have been able to know that at any point that it got unbearable, she could have gone.”

The sisters said they were determined to see changes, to fulfil their mother’s dying wish.

“She specified that she wanted us to get this Bill passed, so that other people don’t have to suffer the way she had to,’’ Natalie said.

Jacqui added: “It’s taken us four and a bit months to come to terms with our grief, we are still grieving every day but we take some comfort in knowing we can pursue exactly what she wanted.”

And they have a clear message for the state’s politicians.

“Give Tasmanians freedom of choice,’’ Jacqui said.

The sisters are supporting Mersey MLC Mike Gaffney, who will this year bring forward the End of Life Choices (Voluntary Assisted Dying) Bill to the Legislative Council as a private member’s Bill.

It will be the fourth attempt at similar laws in Tasmania since 2009. The previous three Bills have not passed the House of Assembly.

Mr Gaffney will run 35 forums across the state this month to explain the proposed legislation to communities.

The Bill has been backed by Dying with Dignity Tasmania, but opposed by church organisations.