Investing in emotional wellbeing is crucial at this tough time

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, write Dr Michael Kelly and Sharon Dutton

AS COVID-19 restrictions begin to ease and we start to see what the new normal will look like, one thing remains clear — the pandemic has had an impact on our lives and will continue to do so.

Relationships Australia conducts monthly website surveys, and in April-May the focus was on the effects COVID-19 has had on people’s relationships, work and social lives.

We have all experienced significant changes to how we interact with family, friends and work colleagues. So what has our experience been, spending more time at home? It’s been challenging on a number of fronts. The changes to the way we work have impacted people’s mental health and close relationships. Workplaces play an important role in maintaining social connections — 63 per cent of respondents experienced changes to their mental health as a result of altered working arrangements.

People who viewed the workplace as part of their social life (69 per cent) were more likely to experience a shift in their mental health from reduced social contact with their colleagues.

The most recent survey focused on how COVID-19 affected people’s close relationships — 55 per cent were challenged by their living arrangements and 42 per cent experienced a negative change in their relationship with their partner, which is also likely to reflect the reason people are accessing our website.

The good news is most respondents had no change or a positive change in their relationships with their parents, children, friends, neighbours, extended family and work colleagues.

Respondents (59 per cent) agreed they had spent more time and effort on their family relationships, and 40 per cent said they had put increased effort into friendships. Knowing all this, what can we do? What are some of the simple strategies we can put in place to support ourselves and others as we begin to reconnect?

In this time of transition, any change, even positive change, can be stressful. Five simple strategies supported by trauma-informed practice for effective reconnection with friends, family, colleagues and workplaces, include:

1. Body self-care: Make enough time for sleeping, eating well, physical exercise, good posture, time outdoors and away from screens. One of the most underestimated contributors to positive emotional and mental health, particularly in volatile times, is setting solid physical routines — going to bed and getting up at set times and having a walk each day. These predictable rhythms signal safety to the brain, helping to create a secure basis, even during change.

2. Mind self-care: Be aware of the expectations, hopes and fears that well up when we contemplate reconnection. Making space for these thoughts and feelings, rather

than shutting them down and getting on with the next task, is very important if we are to operate mindfully. Taking a step back to observe what thoughts and feelings are coming up, without judgment and with kindness, can help to centre us as we anticipate new and stressful situations. Reflect on our own expectations of reconnection — are they reasonable? Or do we need to start more gently and pick up the pace of work and relationships as we go?

3. Personal safety plan: Are there specific people we will need to relate to or situations in the workplace that we know could trigger us into a state of overwhelm? Do we have basic strategies that we can use in the moment to help calm us and get us back on track? Remember that everyone is different in terms of what situations will bring challenges — introverts may have really enjoyed the enforced solitude, but the more extroverted may have been quite lonely.

4. Cultivating allies: It’s important to have someone who knows what life is really like for us, especially during times of transition. This could be a good friend, partner or a relative. Relationships Australia Tasmania has skilled counsellors who would love to help navigate tricky issues that might have been simmering before COVID-19, but now have come to boiling point. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

5. Looking out for others: Anecdotally, referrals to Relationships Australia Tasmania have increased for older people who have been suffering emotional, physical or financial abuse during COVID-19. Similarly, for families who are under increased stress, often mental health issues, family violence and child safety concerns follow suit. As we begin to reconnect, let’s reach out with care, aware that the legacy of isolation may still be operating in these ways.

These strategies — for physical, mental and emotional wellbeing — will assist us to stay calm and grounded as we reach out to allies and provide support to others in turn.