Bond villa in in Oval Office
THE death of Sean Connery last week was overshadowed by a contest in America for the leadership of the free world. The media was pre occupied with the closeness of a ballot regarded by many as a battle between Good and Evil.
Yes. It was riveting and somehow primal, but were we all missing something even bigger?
Unfolding before us was the best-ever James Bond movie plot.
But everyone was far too busy counting the numbers, down in duelling banjo country, to notice that there was a much greater malevolence planned. And it had little to do with the voting intentions of everyday Appalachians.
We can see the real devil in the detail more clearly now.
Barricaded in the White House, deluded and dangerous, the horns certainly fit and Donald J. Trump wears them so well.
He was always typecast for this, his greatest role ever, as the villa in in a Bond movie.
A villa in hell benton destroying democracy.
The problem is that Sean Connery, the first and best James Bond, is now dead. Who among his reincarnated successors will be up to the task of saving the world from the diabolical schemes of a rogue President determined to stay on in the White House and for whom the world is not enough?
This is the plot outline for the latest Bond blockbuster, ‘HOCUS POTUS’.
Here we have an improbable President, revelling in his fabulous wealth, luxuriating in the over-the-top baroque opulence of his fortress towers, playing in his gaudily decadent casinos with impossibly beautiful women in abundance, being caddied around his equally impossibly lush golf courses, all the while supercharged with the real-world military and technological power of the Commander in Chief of the mightiest nation on Earth.
Trump should be for mid able in this film.
Match his worldly excesses and his power with his shocking sociopathic behaviour and his wonderfully imperious sneer.
The 45th President just too readily fits the movie bill for the most villainous villain of all.
If Trump did not already exist, what would it take for a team of Hollywood screenwriters to dream him up?
There is not enough coffee and coke in Columbia.
This will be James Bond’s greatest challenge.
In 27 movies he has faced many of the screen’ s most despicable villains.
The popularity of the franchise is often attributed to the bad guys as much as to Bond himself.
But the evil genius of previous Bond antagonists like Ernst Stavro Blofeld or Auric Goldfinger can hardly compete with Donald J. Trump, who starts out with the kind of power lesser villains can only dream of.
Presumably the potty POT US( President of the United States) already has an arsenal of diabolical weapons to defend his ongoing rule?
A Bond villain in the Oval Office would surely have a plan in place, as well as the power, to release mind-bending chemicals into the nation’s water supply activating his supporters to take up arms?
But hang on. Surely Trump has already used up his secret stock pile of magic mushrooms, just getting all those millions of people to vote for him?
Will the army support him?
Maybe not. Remember how he called the America’s war dead ‘suckers and losers’. So perhaps it is another army he has in mind.
Trump is a deal maker with contacts everywhere and he gets on well with North Korea’s Kim Jong-un with whom it looks like they both share a barber.
POTUS jokingly calls his friend‘ little rocket man’ but he knows that Kim commands the world’s fourth largest army.
And does POT US, like most Bond villains, have a superweapon?
Perhaps a satellite hanging in geostationary orbit 35,786km above America, equipped with a death ray and connected to a powerful geo locator computer deep beneath the West Wing which can link to every mobile phone in America.
In ‘ HOCUS POTUS’ the villain could take out anyone and everyone.
Or maybe he will just trash the White House and spend the next four years undermining the world’s most powerful democracy before seizing power out of the chaos he creates.
As the kids tweet, WTF? Who knows indeed? Guessing the state of play has never been such a problem.
At the time of writing I have no idea what might happen tonight or tomorrow or next week. Nor it seems has anyone else.
Trump is mercurial an dunpredictable. He listens to no one and for four years the entrance to the White House has been a revolving door for his closest advisers.
In the end he listens only to the self-aggrandising voices in his head.
James Bond’ s assignment in ‘HOCUS POTUS’ is to infiltrate the Oval Office and somehow eject the 45th President, back out through that same revolving door.
The script will need a lot of work because in this film James Bond cannot use his specially sanctioned 007 powers.
This time the producers are adamant. They do not want to bump offt he bad guy.
They think POTUS is the best Bond villa in ever and they are planning a sequel in four years from now. Are you up for it? POTUS certainly is.
A BOND VILLAIN IN THE OVAL OFFICE WOULD SURELY HAVE A PLAN IN PLACE, AS WELL AS THE POWER, TO RELEASE MIND-BENDING CHEMICALS INTO THE NATION’S WATER SUPPLY ACTIVATING HIS SUPPORTERS TO TAKE UP ARMS?