Room to move or a dead end?

Porch, lavatory and woodshed make way for portico and man cave, says Ian Cole

IS there a touch of pretentiousness as household terminology changes?

For example, someone used the word porch the other day. Does anyone have a porch at the front of their house any more? Way back, the covered area at the front of a premises was called a porch. It still is, but not heard as often these days. In the song, And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda, Eric Bogle wrote back in 1971, “Now every April, I sit on my porch and watch the parade pass before me.” These days it may more likely be termed a formal entrance at the front door or even more up-market, a portico.

I remember we also had a room at the back of our house simply called a washhouse. Pretty down-market.

These days of course it is a laundry and doesn’t necessarily take up a whole room. In fact it can be in a cupboard.

In the past, we may have also had a spare room in case distant relations came to stay. These days of course such rooms are given dedicated titles like a computer room or a study or an office or a sewing room or even a rumpus room.

Outdoor covered areas these days are probably called entertainment areas or barbecue areas whereas we probably just had a verandah.

But to be fair, there have been some pretentiously named rooms that have disappeared.

There used to be drawing rooms which presumably these days are lounge rooms. A drawing room may have been historically a withdrawing room to which the gentlemen withdrew after dinner to smoke cigars and drink port. Wouldn’t be too popular at dinner parties today. Other rooms that may have disappeared are parlours and powder rooms.

Toilets these days have increasingly become bathrooms as I guess toilets are more and more actually in bathrooms although I see the term as an annoying American incursion. However of course they were originally lavatories. Again a bit down-market and ours way back was in the backyard. Of course into this area have come en suites.

Also out the back in the old days we had a woodshed which these days would be termed extra storage space or even a man cave.

As kids we often called a road that didn’t continue as a dead end. These days it is

A DRAWING ROOM MAY HAVE BEEN A WITHDRAWING ROOM TO WHICH GENTLEMEN WITHDREW TO SMOKE CIGARS AND DRINK PORT. WOULDN’T BE TOO POPULAR AT DINNER PARTIES TODAY

more up-market by being called a quiet no-through street or even a cul-de-sac.

And way back it was convenient for us to live near the train station. Now it is seen as a bonus to have eateries and coffee shops nearby.

So if I ever advertised a house listing features such as a porch, a washhouse, a spare room, a lavatory, a verandah, a woodshed all in a dead-end street near a railway line, my vocabulary would be seen as historic dinosaur terminology.

So, I best continue to attempt to dodge asteroids and to not expect an offer of employment from a real estate company any time soon.