Alcohol the acceptable drug abuse
Alison Lai tells the story of Kristian, a 40yo Tasmanian fighting back from the booze
Children are precious. It doesn’t matter who you are, for most of us the children in our lives are our most treasured and proud achievement. This is true whether they are our own, or part of our extended family or community.
Protecting them is a priority and we will do anything to keep them safe.
But what if the thing you’re trying to keep your children safe from is something that you and others in your family have not been able to protect themselves from?
What if you’re trying to protect them from something that is quintessentially ingrained into the fabric of the Australian way of life? What if it was alcohol? The scenario I’m writing about is real, it’s happening to more families across Tasmania than you might realise and I want to share one story.
It’s Kristian’s story, and he is a born and bred Tasmanian.
He’s a softly spoken gentleman in his 40s, who loves motorbikes and adores his family. He’s also dependent on alcohol and has been as long as he can remember.
Kristian spoke to me just before he was about to enter a Tasmanian residential treatment facility and he shared with me that alcohol “has always been the main thing” in his life. He also told me there was not one person in his family who doesn’t have an addiction.
It’s complicated but the ritual of drinking is a lifestyle passed down from generation to generation, and it can be a normal part of everyday life.
But this culture of drinking created instability in his family and impacted his own life in ways that he hopes to remedy one day. Kristian is the first in his family to seek support, and his motivation is his children.
‘The children they are the ones who are impacted’ and this cycle needs to change Kristian told me.
When asked what he felt needed to be change, Kristian was very clear: “No one teaches you how to drink and because everyone does it, drinking and getting drunk is seen as just normal”.
Yet when it starts to impact your life by making you forget small details or act out, society can be cruel in placing the blame at the feet of the person who can be criticised for making bad choices, or simply not being able to hold their drink. Kristian wants this to change. He wants people to understand he didn’t wake up one day and choose to be an alcoholic but like most of us our lives haven’t played out exactly how we planned.
He wants there to be more education and support for families, including more opportunities for people to simply talk because there was no such thing available when I was young.
‘There needs to be more conversations because telling people just don’t drink is not helpful and education should be the responsibility of all of us,” Kristian stressed. “More talking and more access to counselling is important.”
Kristian’s experience is that alcohol is a means to an end to help deal with, or forget other issues that are causing stress in people’s lives. Anyone who has experienced challenges with drinking will know making a change can be incredibly hard.
When I spoke to Kristian I got the firm impression he feels a responsibility to be the one to make the change for the next generation of his family, because others in his family had “gotten past the point of no return” with their drinking and they would not be seeking support to stop.
Kristian’s courage is irrefutable, and I have no doubt he is going to make the change he is seeking. I give my gratitude to him for sharing his story with me to draw attention to the importance of supporting families affected by alcohol or other drugs. Especially this week, where we acknowledged International Family Drug Support Day.
Alison Lai is chief executive of the Alcohol, Tobacco and other Drugs Council of Tasmania. Family Drug Support Australia 24/7 Helpline: 1300 368 186. National Drug and Information Service: 1800 250 015. Anglicare Tasmania Alcohol and other Drug Hotline: 1800 161 266