A son’s juggling act,

As an only child, Jon Blake has been a caregiver, helping out his mother, Elspeth, in various ways since he was a teenager. Elspeth, following infantile meningitis and encephalitis, was unable to ever work. She struggled financially and so, following her divorce, it fell to 19-year-old Jon to help as she couldn’t afford rent, let alone to get a mortgage.

“My mum couldn’t get a home loan and so I went into a mortgage with her so that she could have a place she was happy in,” says Jon.

Now in his mid-40s, Jon has his own family with three daughters, aged 16, 13 and 10, to support. He is a generous and compassionate man who continues to support Elspeth, but he is feeling the typical pressure of the sandwich generation – caught between caring for his own kids and his mum. “I feel torn at times wanting to be there for my kids but, being an only child, my mum still needs support too.”

For 20 years before she moved into aged care, Jon supported Elspeth and helped to pay her mortgage. Seven years ago when Jon and his wife bought their first home to get into the skyrocketing property market, he discovered he didn’t qualify for the first home saver grant. He had to get a second job on the weekend to manage the two mortgages.

Seeing what happened to both of his parents – his father and stepmother were injured in a car accident – has inspired Jon to take control of his family’s finances so that he is in a stronger position than his parents.

“My parents, throughout their lifetime, weren’t able to get ahead financially,” he says. “They lived hand to mouth and were on and off employment benefits.”

Following his parent’s divorce, the family home was sold but money was not used to build up any equity in another property.

Not having good financial role models has been one of the biggest problems for Jon. He had to start from scratch.

Jon certainly doesn’t want to be a financial burden to his kids. He has put systems in place that involve careful budgeting, investment accounts, building superannuation and buying shares. He is cautious about taking on too much debt, buying a small family house and building up the equity. When his mother moved into aged care, he was able to recoup some of the money he had put into her home and pay down some of his mortgage.

One of the hardest things for Jon is juggling his time between his mother’s needs and his busy family life. He had to take a week off work recently to help with his mother’s personal issues. “That’s where I find the push and the pull. I’m pulled financially and emotionally to look after my parents rather than giving to my family.”

He tries to pass on some financial lessons to his own kids through life circumstances. “There are no closeddoor conversations,” says Jon. They are aware of the cost of supporting his parents and when his family goes to visit Elspeth they understand the time it takes and what the interstate trip costs. He has always tried to teach them the cost of things in terms of hourly wages. “I hope this stands them in good stead.”

Setting a good example of being a responsible son for Elspeth hopefully means that his daughters will be good caregivers to Jon and his wife in their old age.