The hot seat

What was your first job?

I washed dishes at a small pizza restaurant in the Melbourne suburb of Carlton. My biggest memory of that time was being yelled at by the head chef – quite a lot. Needless to say, my career as a dishwasher lasted only one shift. Plus, it really wasn’t worth the 10 bucks per hour.

What’s the best money advice you’ve ever received?

If you had all the money in the world, and money was not your absolute motivator, what work would you want to do? Whatever you answer is the career you should ultimately pursue.

What’s the best investment decision you’ve made?

I have opened up a completely separate savings account, which I don’t touch, for all my income that isn’t generated from standup comedy – so, money I earn from my acting and radio jobs, for instance. That way I make sure to only live off the money I earn from my stand-up gigs, while the rest just sits there in that separate account – out of sight and out of mind to do who knows what with in the future.

What’s the worst investment decision you’ve made?

Well, I have to say it’s probably having set up that separate bank account. I’m sure those savings could be doing so much better, if they were deposited into almost any other financial device and earning a better return!

What is your favourite thing to splurge on?

It’s all about FOOD! I have to say that one of my favourite things to splurge on is eating out at nice restaurants – I love good food. In fact, I can honestly say that I really don’t remember the last time I cooked something myself, it would have to have been at least two years ago.

If you had $10,000 where would you invest it?

My brother used to work for a hedge fund, so I’d be giving it to him – surely he’d know what to do with it. If it was left to me, I’d be chucking it into one of those low-interest savings accounts … again.

What would you do if you had only $50 left in your bank account?

Ooooh! Interesting question. I’ve been a good mate to a quite few people who have found themselves in some tricky financial situations. I’m hoping that I’d be able to bail them up and finally collect on a few loans that haven’t been paid back yet, and which I haven’t been too pushy about. And I’d probably look into selling my expensive candle collection. I hear there’s a big market for half-used scented candles, right?

Do you intend to leave an inheritance?

Look, I don’t have kids of my own but I recently became an uncle. I’m thinking I should leave something to my niece whom I adore. But she’s only eight weeks old and at the moment all she really does is poop and cry – so not sure if she deserves any of my hard earnings just yet. Let’s just wait and see.

What’s one of life’s luxuries you couldn’t live without?

It would have to be a warm and comfortable bed. I’ll be spending a massive chunk of the first half of the year on tour, so making sure that I’m sleeping on a comfortable bed at the end of a hectic tour schedule is very important to me and definitely one of my luxuries.

Finish this sentence: Money makes ...

My meals way more exciting!