ALLISON DUBOIS

CELEBRATE BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES YOU HAVE, SAYS ALLISON

QMy husband passed away in November after nearly 67 years together. I placed him in a home and 13 days later he passed away. I always told him I would never let him go to a home. I knew in my heart he would not last long. I feel so bad. Can you let me know if he blames me?

Ida, via email.

AIda, your husband wouldn’t ‘blame’ you for his passing. You were with him for more than 60 years, so clearly you loved him.

You must have been at your wits’ end to have put him in a care facility. It couldn’t have been an easy decision. It’s not like you didn’t cast him out in the street – you placed him somewhere that was equipped to care for him. People who are left in charge of caring for another adult often feel frustration and sometimes a level of resentment.

We’re human beings, we feel a certain way and we deal with those feelings the best we can. Right now, you’re feeling guilty.

You can either continue to blame yourself or you can realise that your husband is in a much better place now. He knows that you are sorry that you didn’t have the energy to be able to handle his needs differently.

You’ll see your husband again. He’ll be waiting for you looking very much like he did when you first met him. Let go of your guilt and, instead, cherish the special memories.

QMy ex said he had changed but still proved otherwise as I kept finding texts he sent to other women. He says he was just joking and never cheated. With a young child he will be in my life for a long time, but I don’t trust him and he’s moved out.

So lost, via email.

AEmotional cheating is still cheating. You’re right, love is nothing without trust. My sense is that he’s not to be trusted. You may have a young child, but your child will grow up and make their own choices, building their own life.

You have to make decisions now that will affect the rest of your life. The emotional toll that your ex took on you in such a short time was taxing to say the least. Imagine spending another 10 years on that roller-coaster. People don’t usually joke about infidelity, unless they have a twisted sense of humour.

Don’t be gullible. We’re all given a limited amount of days on this earth, use them wisely.

QIt puzzles me that I dream about people who already passed away. They tell me things to relay to family and many times it’s the truth and happens. I was born on day 11 and was told I am a spiritual messenger. Is it true?

Yvonne, via email.

AYvonne, it sounds like what you’re doing is relaying messages from the spirit world, so I think you’ve answered your own question. There’s nothing puzzling about dreaming of the dead. It’s human to stay connected on a soul level.

There are more people who believe in the afterlife than those who don’t. Accept that what you’re doing is a gift and as long as you’re doing it to help others in a positive way, you’re using the gift for good. Embrace your abilities. The more that you practise reading people, the stronger your connection to the other side will become.