IT’S GREAT TO BE GENEROUS TOWARD OTHERS, BUT DON’T MAKE A ROD FOR YOUR OWN BACK BY LETTING PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE, SAYS NENE.
QMy sister and her family came to stay with us for a week. To make space for them all we moved our son out of his room and he slept on the sofa bed. As well, my husband and I did all the cooking and cleaned up afterwards with very little help from them. They did bring some wine and beers with them but took what was left with them and barely said thanks for having us. We feel like we have been used for a cheap holiday and don’t want to repeat the experience, but I don’t want to fall out with my sister, How should I handle it the next time they want to stay? BERNICE, VIA EMAIL.
AThe visitors from hell… cross them off your welcome list. They were crass and cheapskates. I would have a good excuse ready if they want to stay again, although it may cause some consternation with your sister. You really need to voice your disapproval. You went to a lot of trouble to accommodate them with very little thanks. Taking back the leftover wine is beyond belief. They obviously have little interested in pleasing you. There should be no ‘next time’ if they want to stay.
QI’ve been cat-sitting for my friend for a couple of years whenever she goes away on business, but I’m finding it a bit of a challenge, as her place is in an awkward location and it takes more than an hour for me to get to work. I don’t want to let her down, as she doesn’t seem to have anyone else to ask, but it’s becoming a bit of a chore. Should I suggest she check out some local catteries? BARBARA, VIA EMAIL.
AI am a cat lover and recently rescued a tabby kitten, but your friend is taking advantage of your kindness. For two years you have been caring for her cat – the cost, the inconvenience, the responsibility has gone on far too long. I cannot believe you haven’t spoken up earlier. Her place is in an awkward location and it takes you more than an hour to get to work. You made a rod for your own back by allowing this to go on for such a long time. You need to contact the woman immediately and suggest she makes new arrangements for the care of the cat. It’s her responsibility.
QMy eight-year-old son is friends with a boy who comes from quite a wealthy family. I’m so happy my son has found a friend and he gets taken on all sorts of amazing outings, but it can get quite difficult to offer the same to his friend, as I am a single mother and just can’t afford those sorts of things. Do you have any suggestions Nene? JANINE, VIA EMAIL.
ADo not feel embarrassed or uncomfortable and do not allow your son to feel inferior. His friend’s family may be in a better financial position but there is no need for you to put yourself under pressure to keep up with them. You can’t. Accept that your son is having a wonderful time. I’m sure the friend’s parents know of your circumstances and do not expect you to host amazing outings for their son. The boys would be just as happy with food treats and lots of computer games. Relax and be grateful your son is having such an exciting childhood.