IS YOUR TEEN OK?
HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR TEEN AND WARNING SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR
Raising a teenager can be tough even for the most confident parent. Drink, drugs, cyberbullying, self-harm and depression hover like a storm cloud. Here, Dr Steve Leicester from youth mental health initiative, Headspace, answers our questions...
How can a parent tell if it’s more than teen moodiness?
Mental health problems can be hard to spot in teens, but parents are in a good position to notice behaviour changes. Look for significant signs. Everyone has changes in mood, and we should avoid the term ‘moody teens’. Family will always be central to their support network, but some perceived ‘moodiness’ may be down to teens finding other people to communicate with rather than just their parents.
What danger signs should a parent be looking for?
A child’s behaviour may change over time. They may withdraw from the family, stop doing things they enjoy or be confrontational.
What is the best way to speak with your teenager?
Talk openly and honestly with your child and ask what they need from you. Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling, be patient and listen to their fears and concerns.
If they’re distressed, don’t tell them to ‘calm down’ or ‘get over it’ – they need to be taken seriously. Avoid judgement and reassure them that you are there for them no matter what. If they don’t want to talk to you, help is available. Support them if they would prefer to talk to health professionals, such as a Headspace centre.
How can you build communication before your kids become teens?
Clear, open communication with our children should start early. Involving them in activities, some decisions and allowing them to take on responsibilities, are all elements of good family communication.
How do you protect their privacy and gain help?
Having our own space including a reasonable level of privacy, is important for everyone. That’s not always possible in a busy family home.
PRACTICAL TIPS CAN GO A LONG WAY
• Be available. • Take an interest in them.
• Check in without being
pushy. • Take distress or emotional changes seriously – don’t dismiss their experience.
How can you support your teenagers in more practical ways?
It’s important to take an interest in their friendships and understand their activities. This doesn’t mean becoming their best friend, but learning what they value and enjoy.
No matter how hard it gets, always involve your child in family activities and decisions. They may not always take the opportunity to participate, but you’ll be consistently sending the message that they are valued and important. A key part of adolescent development is about independence and autonomy.
It’s not straightforward, but the more understanding you are the better. If you are looking for support and information, visit headspace.org.au or call Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 for 24/7 support or visit kidshelpline.com.au.