SOLUTIONS FOR SINGLES, OLD FRIENDS, NEW FRIENDS – OUR RESIDENT AGONY AUNT NENE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS!
QMy daughter has a new boyfriend who is really great, but he does have the unfortunate habit of swearing quite freely – something I’ve always discouraged in my kids and which I find really unpleasant. Should I talk to my daughter and tell her to ask him to moderate his language when he’s under my roof? MELANIE, VIA EMAIL.
AThe new boyfriend needs to be told there are ground rules under your roof. You do not like people swearing, have never encouraged it, and your daughter has to explain this to the boy. It won’t be easy. These days swearing seems to be part of most conversations between young people and not-so-young ones too. You don’t want him to feel uncomfortable when he visits. Jokingly have a cake of soap on hand to wash out his dirty mouth. Your daughter could set up a swear jar, Every time he swears he puts a dollar in the jar. Do be sure to tell your daughter you think her boyfriend is great – and it’s just the swearing that blots his copy book.
QMy friend and her two little boys sometimes come over for a play date with my two daughters. But on the last occasion it ended rather disastrously. Her boys, who are three and four years old, ran riot and my friend didn’t seem to rein them in at all. They ended up finding a bottle of nail varnish and tipping it out on the carpet, so now I have a nasty red stain and have to look at replacing it. My friend was apologetic, but I’m not really keen to have her and the boys round again. How can I put it to her politely without hurting her feelings? NATASHA, VIA EMAIL.
AIt would be a pity to ban these play dates. Set some boundaries. The boys obviously are bored. You need to allocate a play area with lots of toys and games to keep the children busy. Lego is always a winner and the boys could spend hours playing with it. It was nice to hear your friend was apologetic about the nail polish but is she going to pay to replace the carpet? I doubt it. Perhaps you could set up a play area in the garage. It is so much easier if the children can play outside, but winter restricts this. Have another play date and make sure you keep the little boys busy. And not too many sweets. It makes them more hyperactive.
QI’ve started dating a new guy who is great fun but he can turn into a bit of a bore when he’s had a few drinks. When we are out with friends, after a few beers he’ll start dominating the conversation and talking over other people, but if I say anything my friends tell me to lighten up and don’t worry he’s fine. Should I just let him be, as my friends suggest, or ask him to pull back on the beers? SANDY, VIA EMAIL.
AYour letter reminds me of my darling mother Emily. After a couple of Cosmopolitans she gently chided me ‘Nene you can hear your voice half way down the street!’ Your friends don’t have a problem with your boyfriend – they don’t seem to mind him being a bit boisterous after a few beers. That should tell you it’s not important enough to have a quiet chat with him. It is his nature and you need to accept he gets a bit rowdy when he’s had a few drinks. He’s not alone. You don’t want to sound like a bossy boots – so just go out and enjoy your time with your friends and give him a quick nudge when you want to join in the conversation. I say, live and let live.