N EN E K IN G

THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER, SAYS OUR RESIDENT AGONY AUNT, NENE – MAKE THE MOST OF IT!

I spotted my husband flirting with another woman at a friend’s party recently. I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of everyone. But I’m really upset as it has made me question my marriage and whether he is still committed to me. CHLOE, VIA EMAIL.

What exactly was your husband doing for you to decide he was flirting? Was he just talking and laughing with the woman, or did you see him write down her phone number? You were at a party. Your husband may have been having some fun and not at the point of ruining his marriage. What you saw upset you. You were jealous and hastily it made you question your marriage. This is serious and requires a sit down with your husband. Tell him you were upset with his behaviour and it made you wonder if he was still committed to the marriage. I think you will find he will laugh off your concerns. You need to trust your husband. Unless he was all over her like a rash, I would put your feelings to rest and accept your husband was just enjoying himself.

I’m a 62-year-old woman and I retired a couple of months ago. I thought I’d really be enjoying all the spare time but now I just feel like a spare part. It was a bit of a novelty at first not having to rush to get up in the mornings, but now I really miss that routine and the social aspect of work as well. Do you have any suggestions, Nene? JULIE, VIA EMAIL.

The world is your oyster. You are free to do whatever you want whenever you want. You need to sit down and make a bucket list of all the adventures you always wanted to do while you were working. Join a club or a gym, learn a language, or check TAFE and find a subject that interests you. Catch up with friends and look into voluntary work. Travel should be on your list, and buy the books you now have time to read. Join a book club. Take a cooking class. There is a whole new world out there for you to explore – all of the above will give you an opportunity to socialise and not feel like a spare part.

One of the women I work with seems to have become really fed up with her job. She complains all the time and has suddenly started having a lot of sick days, seemingly for no reason. It puts a lot of pressure on the rest of the team when she takes time off and its also demoralising when she keeps moaning. Should I say something to her privately? MIRANDA, VIA EMAIL.

You are not this woman’s keeper. Nor is it up to you to pull her into line. There is no harm in telling her to stop complaining. Make it quite clear you are not interested in her moaning. If she dislikes the job tell her to do something about it. Pointing out her sickies is up to the boss. Eventually it will be noticed that she is taking a lot of time off and she will be questioned by the correct authority.