ALLISON DUBOIS
MOVING THROUGH GRIEF TOWARD HAPPINESS IS HARD, SAYS ALLISON
QI was wondering if you can help me please. My brother was found deceased in December 2016. He was found on the floor and had been there for several days before he was found. I was wondering if he was in any pain or if he died suddenly. He was living alone and I wonder whether he suffered before he died. Thank You.
Veronica, Toowoomba, Qld.
AVeronica, a medical examiner can usually determine the time and cause of death. My sense is that he died from internal issues with his heart and he went quickly. I’m sad that he was so lonely but now he has love from his family and friends who preceded him in death.
QMy husband and I were married for 43 years until he had an affair with my girlfriend of 35 years. They had been having an affair for six months before I even found out.
She said she felt guilty, but she goes and stays with him every weekend and still tries to say she feels sorry for him as he’s lonely. She says they’re just friends but I find it hard to believe. He broke my heart.
Lesley, via email.
ALesley, they both betrayed you, I’d want nothing to do with either of them. Your former friend can say that she feels sorry for him all she wants, that doesn’t give her licence to continue to hurt you. They’re not just friends, they got caught having an affair and they continue to lie about it.
Anyone would be devastated after 43 years of marriage but you have to decide what you’re going to do now. I know that you invested a lot of time and most of your life in your husband, but right now you’re stuck in a love triangle in the process.
Either, your husband wants to save your marriage and you two move away together (without the ex-friend) and get counselling, or you decide you want a fresh start, move away and build a new life. If you stay in the love triangle, continued heartbreak and disappointment are guaranteed.
QI lost my father 30 years ago when I was nine years old. I think about him all the time, but I have never had a feeling that he is around or watching over me. I am very open to experiencing signs from passed loved ones but I just don’t think there have been any from him. Have I been missing them? Is there a reason there wouldn’t be any? I would love to know if he is still around me? Please help! Nikki, via email.
ANikki, some people detect the dead easier than others. If you don’t feel presences, it doesn’t mean no-one’s there. You just might not have a sixth sense. The more you talk to the deceased the stronger your bond becomes. Your dad might think you’re okay without him and doesn’t want to open the wound. Tell your dad you want him to be a part of your life – he needs to feel invited. Listen to your inner voice (in your chest area) more than the one in your head. That will help exercise your sixth sense. Please know, your father’s love for you has kept him close by throughout your life.