ALLISON DUBOIS
WHEN LOVED ONES PASS THEY ARE STILL IN OUR DAILY LIVES
QI have two children of the same sex and I really want to try for a third to try and get the other sex. However, my husband is unsure about having three kids. Should I try for another and get what I’m given, or be happy with two?
Anonymous, via email.
AAnonymous, I’m a little partial answering this question. I was one of two children and my older brother and I didn’t get along (we are five years apart). I had three kids, so if two of the kids weren’t getting along they’d have an alternate sibling! It worked, and when the older two squabble, my sweet youngest daughter Sophia is there for both of them.
I can’t imagine my life without my mini-me – I would have never known how it feels to have so much in common with another person.
If you really want the other gender there are techniques that can help you and your husband to accomplish having one. There are specialists in the field of gender selection and many books written on the subject.
Sometimes, there’s a higher power in play giving a family what it needs. Sophia is the softness in our family, she’s the diplomat, and without her we’d have a much different dynamic. I’m a fan of having three, no matter what the gender – the third keeps things interesting!
QI lost my father nine months ago and sometimes wonder if losing him will get any easier. Does he know how much l loved and miss him and would have been there at the end if my brother had kept us up to date on his progress? Was Dad’s family waiting for him, because it upsets me to think of him being alone? Shaz, via email.
AShaz, I guarantee you your father wasn’t alone. Deceased loved ones are there waiting for us long before we pass. Your dad wouldn’t want you to be mad at your brother. He probably wanted to believe your dad was going to be OK.
I lost my dad 16 years ago and it gets easier over time, but you will always miss your dad. Just as we carry love for them in our hearts, we also long for them in our daily lives. They are still in our lives. They know what’s troubling us, and what’s making us happy. They enjoy hearing stories about themselves and they like to be included during holidays. Show your dad he left you with a lot to smile about.
QMy father-inlaw recently passed away and we have been upset we didn’t see the signs earlier and couldn’t help him more. We are hoping he is happy and at peace. We want to understand if he is supportive of the decisions we have made after his passing.
Nicky, via email.
ANicky, when a loved one dies, they whisper in our ear what they’d like us to do for their memorial and who should have their keepsakes. So, as long as you listened to your inner voice, you did everything right. You might be upset you didn’t spend as much time with him as you now wish you had. But the deceased always come through and say that they understand and that you couldn’t have done much for them anyway. Be happy for him. He’s now with his parents and all the people he loved.