ALLISON DUBOIS
A A A EMBRACING LOSS LEADS TO NEW BEGINNINGS, SAYS ALLISON
QWe lost our beautiful Mum recently. It has been very hard as we are a close family. It was very sudden and on my birthday. Mum was more unwell than we thought. I think we were in denial. My Dad, 86, is so sad.
Jenny, via email. Jenny, your parents clearly love each other so your dad’s going to miss her very much – he’ll feel like half a person without her. With his children being grown up, your dad won’t feel like you need him so much anymore, even though you won’t feel that is true. So, be patient with him if he’s depressed – it’s a normal part of grieving. Hold on to how lucky you all are to have had each other for this crazy ride called ‘life’. You have parents you adore, and they have all of those great memories with their children and grandchildren.
This is a year of new beginnings, for realising our own dreams, and for learning from past mistakes. It’s the perfect time to fall in love or get a new job. So, try to use the energy of this year and let it fuel you to be positive, and to go after your dreams.
QI’ve been unhappy for so long. My parents moved the family to Australia in early 1980. I’ve been a single mum for 26 years to two amazing young men, now in their mid-20s. I’ve never married, so it’s just been us three. Now, the boys have their own lives, and I feel lost in all aspects of my life. I’ve put on a lot of weight, and I’m mentally drained. I’m thinking of moving back to my birthplace. Am I going to be happy? Am I making the right decision? Will I find happiness and love?
Gigi, via email. Gigi, my sense is that you should move back to where you were born. You’ll feel like you’re home for the first time in a long time. It’s time for you to eat healthy food, exercise, and lose the weight. After you feel good about yourself again, and you learn to laugh often, you will find love. It’s a year to fall in love – many will marry and babies will be born. It’s very exciting, and a move makes a lot of sense for you. Your boys will be fine, so it’s time for ‘Gigi’ to finally find happiness.
QI am plagued with guilt. My mother passed away in a nursing home while I went home to change. On my way back she passed away and I don’t know what she thought. Is she OK?
A, via email. A, It’s common for a dying person to let go when their loved one leaves the room. It’s not because they don’t love you, it’s because when you’re next to them their soul holds on for you. Your mum needed to take her journey on her terms. She had to let go when you were out of the room. Don’t feel guilty, your mum wasn’t alone when she died. Her deceased loved ones were already in the room ready to take her home.
Now, your mum is free from her body and mind that lost vitality a long time ago. She gets to be young and reunite with her family and friends. Be assured she sees you every day, and is trying to tell you to let go of your guilt and hold on to her love. She’s not gone. HAVE A QUESTION FOR ALLISON? Email destiny@newidea.com.au