ALLISON DUBOIS
WHEN LOVED ONES PASS THEY ARE STILL IN OUR DAILY LIVES
QMy sister Allyson Jane passed away on April 30 this year after being diagnosed the previous October with terminal cancer. It was such a short time we had together after her diagnosis. She never spoke about her situation to me even though we lived together and I asked her to talk many times. I am still incredibly sad and miss her so much. I would love to hear something from her. I believe in life after death.
Lesley, via email.
ALesley, I’m so sorry for your loss. People who pass from cancer often like to send birds as a sign to let you know that they’re around you and free from the body that betrayed them. The type of bird is usually symbolic of their personality. You’re always going to miss your sister.
When my dad died it helped me to remember that every day I wake up is a blessing. You’re not moving away from your sister or leaving her in the past, you’re moving towards seeing her again every day because she’s part of your future.
Your sister still wants to be part of your life. She gets to live through you every time you do something that makes you happy. Talk to your sister, reminisce about memories of the two of you from childhood and your younger rebellious years, she’ll love that. I know it isn’t fair when people die prematurely, it’s hard to accept that they’re ours on loan. Your sister would want you to know that she loves you very much.
QI was wondering if you could hear from my dad, who died on Feb. 27, 1984. I miss him terribly and I wonder if he knew how much he was, and still is, loved. As a family it was never said. Is he proud of my boys and how we looked after mum?
Karen, via email.
AKaren, no matter how much time passes after someone dies they continue to be with those they love and that includes the living. I’ve brought through people who didn’t say ‘I love you’ a lot in life but they felt it. Your dad knows how much you love him and he would tell you he wished he’d said it more in life. People often regret not spreading those words around more often. We can all learn something from them.
As for your boys, he’s part of their lives too, of course he’s proud! You’re daddy’s little girl still. Everything you do with him in mind, he sees.
QI have cancer and was with a man I met at my hospital stay. We were together for three months, then he passed away in March last year. I miss him so much. I know he is strongly around me. How do I connect more with him? Is he missing me?
Kathy, via email.
AKathy, you made the last three months of his life something special and that’s a gift. It’s hard for the deceased to miss us because they’re with us all the time. The more you talk to him the stronger your spiritual connection will get. If you have a picture of him when he was healthy that helps. Often the mental image of a loved one when they’re sick blocks us from being able to see them because we’re so scarred by the memory. When they talk to us it’s like telepathy – we hear them in our head. Listen, it really is him. HAVE A QUESTION FOR ALLISON? Email destiny@newidea.com.au